13 Strange Sex Fantasies: This Is What Women Fantasize About

 what women fantasize about

We men sometimes wonder what women fantasize about. 

And with good reason.

Research shows that some sex fantasies women have are kind of strange and disturbing.

Here you will learn what her top 13 fantasies are. Some are strange, disturbing, and very extreme (for example #9). Take a look:


"According to research, every woman has a secret sexual fantasy men know nothing about."

Why you want to know what she fantasizes about

Women have their own sexual fantasies, which they daydream or read about. And maybe they'd like it if they came true…

It would be very convenient if she were to tell you about her sexual fantasies. But, in most relationships, this NEVER happens.

These are the 4 advantages of trying her sexual fantasies:

  • The sex will become more varied and exciting, which is nice for you, especially if you've been together for a while, and "regular" sex is becoming a bit boring.
  • She will be even more in love with you, and even more content with your relationship. You won't have to be afraid of her cheating on you. 
  • She'll also do more exciting things for you (anal sex or threesomes, for example)
  • Your relationship will benefit (scientifically proven)

And if you don't know your wife's or girlfriend's sexual fantasy, you won't have these advantages.

So, what is a man to do?

You can find out from this article:

Why women fantasize (about sex)

First and foremost:

You should know that women like to fantasize. They like it a lot, even.

  • Women mostly get turned on mentally (instead of physically). So, fantasizing gets them extra turned on. Especially if they're "all dry."
  • The media tends to depict women as very decent creatures. A lot of extreme sex fantasies are taboo, which makes it exciting (because it's wrong).
  • A lot of men only have boring, normal sex with their girlfriend or wife. And that's just not exciting enough for her. So if you can make her fantasies come true, you'll already be better than 99% of all the other men.

How kinky are women's sex fantasies?

Women like to fantasize about sex: from outdoor sex to rape fantasies.

It's more bizarre than you think. In 1973 (!) a book was published, named "My Secret Garden," by Nancy Friday. It's a collection of fantasies women have.

The book shows that women fantasize (at least) as much as men do. You should definitely read the book if you want to learn more about what women fantasize about. The things you'll learn are worth every penny.

But now:​

Before I tell you about the 13 most f*cked up fantasies, first let me tell you about this:

How do you know if she REALLY wants her fantasy to come true?

Guys, before you run to the store to buy rope and duct tape, read this;

Research also shows that 50% of the women who have submissive fantasies actually don't want to play these out at all.

You do need to learn to see that difference.

A sexual fantasy is *NOT* the same thing as a sexual desire.

A lot of women fantasize about forced sex, but they don't want to be raped for real.

The things women fantasize about in bed, are not necessarily what women want in bed.

Do this in order to know if you should make it come true or not:​
  • Discuss her fantasy with her and only "fulfill" it if she wants you to.
  • Think of a safe word together, which you can use if things go too far
  • If you do reenact the fantasy, go for it 100% (not half-baked or doubtful)
  • If she finds it difficult to share her fantasies or be open in bed, read this article with 8 tips for if she is boring in bed.

What women fantasize about:

Most women are not the same, but funnily enough their fantasies are.

There are a few common sex fantasies that a lot of women dream about. Below you will find the 13 most bizarre (and most common):

Top 13 Sex Fantasies Women Have

domination fantasy

1. Submissive fantasy (master-slave)

Forget everything you think you know about the sexual fantasies women have.

A LOT of women are turned on when they're dominated: when you pull their hair, tie them up, or slap their butt.

And is your partner one of those women?

Then this submissive fantasy is perfect for you.

This is how you know whether she wants the real thing:

  • Gently take her wrists and bind them with a tie, a scarf, or a rope. Now you are free to explore her body.  
  • See how she reacts...
  • Does she moan? Lightly slap her ass
  • Then gently pull her hair while you kiss her. If this makes her moan, you'll know enough.
  • Touch her face with your hard member and (gently) slap her in the face, and let her play with it with her mouth. After all, she is your slave and she has to do what you say.
  • Softly bite her nipples, pinch them (you will notice whether she likes it or not). Take your time, and don't rush.
  • After this, you can keep making it more extreme.

This can turn a woman on immensely. And you can easily take steps in this master - slave fantasy, and keep making it more exciting. She can do nothing, except sometimes kiss your lips or your penis. She is NOT in control.

2. Fantasy of being raped

 fantasy of being raped

This is a more extreme version of the submissive fantasy, but a lot of women have it.

According to some studies, the fantasy of being raped is even one of the most common fantasies women have.

But, as you can probably imagine, a lot of women are ashamed of it. So, if she has it, she won't easily admit to it.

Why does a rape fantasy make women horny?​

  • Losing control. A lot of women say that they are held or tied up in their fantasy. They have lost control completely
  • Being desired. The "rapist" is so overwhelmed by her beauty that he just has to take her. It may sound strange, but this turns women on IMMENSELY.
  • Resisting. Struggling or resisting is also an element of a rape fantasy that turns her on.
Do not confuse this fantasy with reality

In a fantasy, the woman can choose who the man is and how far it goes. In reality, this is different.

Women often don't fantasize about this together with their partners, and that's fine. 

If you'd like to know more about the rape fantasy, this is a good article.

3. Threesome – with 2 men or women

Yes, I know. For you (like most other men), the thought of having sex with two women is amazing.

But sometimes, women feel the same.​

Some women fantasize about threesomes. With 2 men (mmw) or with another woman (mww).

But 1 thing is important:​

How do you know if she really wants to have a threesome?

  • Start by introducing sex toys. This way you can establish the sense of a threesome while you're having normal sex.
  • If she enjoys this, you can carefully see if she's open to more. 
  • Then ask her how she feels about a threesome, and if she'd like to do it with another man or another woman.
  • And then? Talk about it. It's important to know exactly what she wants before you start to prepare for it.

This fantasy women have is relevant to the next one:

4. Sex with a stranger

Time and time again, scientific research has shown that sex with a stranger is one of the most common fantasies women have. 

The thought of uncomplicated sex is hot. A sexy guy she'll never see again afterwards, who will allow her to surrender to lust completely, and focus on the moment.

How do you make this fantasy real?

  • Start with some roleplaying games. Let her wear sexy outfits and play a game. Teacher-student. Guard-prisoner.
  • If she likes that, ask her about her fantasies.
  • If this one comes up, you'll know what to do.
  • Leave a note on the kitchen table, telling her to put on the blindfold next to it.  And sit down on the bed.
  • Tie her to the bed, and don't talk to her during sex. When you're done, you can continue with afterplay, or — if you want to take the fantasy further — you can leave the room and talk to her again later.

5. Sex in public

Sex in public, while you could be caught: a lot of women would love to try this. It makes them feel excited and adventurous.

So, it's quite a mainstream sex fantasy, which most couples try at least once.​

  • If she has her own office as the place where she works, try visiting her there, fuck her at work and then leave again. 
  • Beach, park, alley. All good.
  • Sex on the plane is a very famous (and challenging) one.

If you'd like to know more, check out this article with the top 18 places to have outdoor sex.

6.  Playing a stripper

womens stripper fantasies

Undressing slowly for you, seducing you, turning you on and giving you the lap dance of your life.

Sounds like heaven, doesn't it?

It gives women a rush, because it's such a wrong profession, and a lot of people look down on it. This makes it a very naughty fantasy.

The nice thing about this is that it's rather easy to make it come true. You can call just about any strip club and ask if you can rent a room with a pole for an hour or so, so you can let her strip for you. 

Or, you can buy your own stripper pole (recommended). It costs a bit of money, but it's worth it. And, hey — you might even get her to take a pole dancing class this way.​

7. Fantasies about orgies, group sex, and swinger parties

threesome sex fantasies

Switching partners, being looked at and looking at others. Or even having sex with multiple people in one evening.

For some women, this is an enormous turn-on. See it as an extension of a threesome.

But it's also a very big taboo.

So a lot of women will NOT easily confess to having this fantasy.

How do you know if this is one of her fantasies?

Watch the movie "Eyes Wide Shut" with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.

Plenty of moments to try and find out what she thinks. Especially if you let her know you'd find it exciting. 

8. Make your own porn movie

Some women think making a sexy movie is very hot.


She knows this makes you very horny, and she can see that she's driving you crazy. That is why it excites women so much.

​How do you get her to make a movie?

  • A good first step is to buy a camera that prints a picture as soon as you take it. This is an easy step.
  • If she agrees, you can move on.
  • Let her get used to the camera first, before you shoot the whole sex scene.
  • Take some pictures while she's taking off her clothes, while she's touching herself or while she's posing in sexy lingerie.
  • Then just put the camera down and start having sex. If it turns her on, she won't say anything about it.

Tip: Don't just leave the video lying around. A hard drive, secured with a password, is a good idea.

submissive fantasy

9. Masochism fantasy

Masochism is when pain turns you on. So, it's different from fantasies about rape or submission.

The pain enhances the experience of pleasure (through endorphins).

For example, maybe you (or your partner) have had a bruise somewhere after sex, because you've knocked into something. But you didn't feel anything.​

3 disturbing but real fantasies from the book "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday:​

  • Barbara says it turns her on when she fantasizes about being a school girl that is spanked with a ruler (this fantasy is about 5 pages long in the real book).
  • Rose Ann talks about a fantasy she has when she gets excited, where she's on a table. At the 4 corners of the table there are men who pull her arms and legs, so she's all stretched out. Then a very big man with a big penis fucks her and splits her open, while the other men pull so hard that her bones crack and her skin splits open.
  • In the book, Amanda talks about a fantasy in which her nipples are pierced with sizzling hot iron rods. The fantasy continues and she gets a ceremonial bath, she's raped by a group of men, and then she is sacrificed to a god by having her internal organs cut out of her. 


So, now you might understand why not all fantasies can also become reality.

In their stories, all 3 women indicated that they would like to experiment with pain during sex, but they didn't dare tell their partners.

10. Being dominant herself

Usually, the man is dominant in bed. Most men like it, and most women prefer to be submissive.

But, a lot of women do have the fantasy of being dominant for once, and dominating the man. 

It might sound strange, but you can actually do this some time, for some variety.

  • Do the same thing you usually do when you're dominating her, only the other way around. 
  • Start with simple things, like handcuffs etc.
  • Resist the voice in your head that tells you to be dominant. It's her fantasy, so let her live that fantasy. Afterwards, you can be in charge again.

11. Being paid for sex

This is a more extreme version of the stripper fantasy. There are even sources that say that this was "in" amongst the nobility in the 19th century. 

In any case, some women fantasize about prostitution. About being paid for sex. It's taboo. Kinky. It's wrong.

  • Ask about her fantasies, and if she mentions this you can act it out some time.
  • You could buy a red light. Go to the cash machine beforehand and let her wear something a prostitute would wear. 

12. Sex with a young man

This is a very popular fantasy women have, especially if they're a bit older. And the other way around, young men also have this fantasy (why do you think "MILFs" are so popular?)

It's a pretty big taboo for an older woman to date a younger man. In public, this is even looked down on. And this is one of the things that make it so exciting for her. 

young man fantasy

A famous practitioner of this fantasy...

And if you think it's not very common, you should read those stories of teachers who got in trouble for having sex with their male students. 

Those lucky bastards.

How to seduce older women with their secret fantasy

If you already have a relationship, this fantasy won't help you much, but it will if you're single. 

If you're trying to seduce an older woman, you can use this fantasy by giving her small subtle hints or getting the thought into her head.

Now on to the next one:

13. Being looked at while you're having sex

All our lives, we have sex when we're alone. In the bedroom, with the curtains closed and the door locked. Or, if we get excited when we're outside, we go home to quickly go to bed ALONE.

This fantasy is the opposite of that.

How does it work?​

This sex fantasy is a more extreme version of the "sex in public" fantasy. With that fantasy it's more about the excitement of being caught, but with this one it's something else getting women horny.

The audience often has a part to play in these fantasies. They applaud. Even enjoy it. This makes the woman feel like she's putting on a show. The better she performs, the more impressed the audience is. And the more excited she gets.

An example of this fantasy

  • In the book 'My Secret Garden', an actress tells the following story: For 6 months, she puts on a show several times a week, in which she has a sex scene. At first she thought the scene was horrible, and she didn't like doing it. But, after some time, the scene started making her horny. At some point she had to picture the audience when she was home with her husband just to get wet. She comes the hardest when the audience keeps applauding.

​How can you make this fantasy come true?

  • In the dunes. There is a lot of space, and a good chance of being caught. If you're caught it's not such a big deal, because the people are usually far away. 
  • On a beach. If you want to go a little more public, you can pick a (quiet) beach. Do make sure there are no small children.
  • On the balcony. She can even look at the people who walk or cycle by if that turns her on. 

When should you look into her sex fantasies?

What you do with her, and when, depends on your relationship with the woman in question. 

Option 1: It's a one-night stand

In this case, everything is already new: the woman herself, her personality, her body and the first-time sex. So you don't have to introduce fantasies or make them come true to give the sex a boost.

The first time is already exciting enough.​

Why the one-night stand is special

But for some women this IS the ideal opportunity to try things out in bed that she doesn't dare do with a long-term partner. 


Women have a fear of being thought of as a slut.

They don't want you to think that she's easy or a sex maniac. And if you're in a relationship with her, she definitely doesn't want you to think of her as a slut

With a one-night stand those rules suddenly don't apply anymore. If she won't see you again, she can really let herself go. 

Tip: Read this article with 23 one-night stand tips to learn how to have an amazing one-night stand.

Option 2: It's your girlfriend or wife and you're already in a long-term relationship 

Then it's safe to have a conversation about this.

Sharing a sexual fantasy often makes the excitement come back. Just like in the beginning. She has butterflies in her stomach again, and kissing alone turns her on.


Women are hesitant to share their fantasies. She wants to feel safe with you. So in a relationship she can share (if it is as it should be).

She may have dropped subtle hints about her sexual fantasies. But, at the time, you didn't know what to do yet.

What if she didn't give any hints?

If your girlfriend or wife has not given you any hints about her sexual fantasies (or if you weren't listening properly), look at the above list with 13 fantasies again.

There's a good chance that hers is on it.

The next step is to find out what her preference is.

And that is easier than you think.

How to find out what her fantasy is

Now that you know the most common fantasies, you can find out if some of those turn her on too.

  • Talk to her about a fantasy while you're having sex, or during foreplay.
  • Tell her what you could do to her.
  • Her reaction will tell you what you need to know. And I don't mean her reaction in words.
  • There's a good chance she won't say anything at all. Not all women dare to talk about it. But her body betrays everything. If she gets very wet, you know that you're doing well.

What to do with her fantasy

Now that you know what her fantasy is, it is time to do something with it.

That's why I made a few articles that teach you, step by step, how to have good sex with her, while making a fantasy come true. 

Click on one of the links below, to read the article: 

Charles Black

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