16 Anal Sex Tips, 7 Positions & How To Get Her On Board For Anal

anal sex tips for men

Anal sex. Some people think it's gross, or that it hurts.

But it doesn't have to be like that. Look:

If you do it well, a woman can have much harder orgasms than usual. Without pain or grossness.

And for a man it's nice and tight, and you're in control.​

Learn how to do it well below:

More...

Ok. Before we start, there's this:

If you talk to a man or a woman about anal sex, neither will have any clue what the other likes about it.

  • Women think it's a strange fetish men have...
  • And us men... we usually can't begin to guess what women like about anal.

So pay attention to the next part. Because then you'll know what to do during anal sex, to make it a good experience for the other person:

Why do men like anal sex

Here are 7 reasons why he wants anal sex:

  • Porn. Most men see anal sex in porn. And then they want to try it.
  • It's taboo. If something is considered bad, you only want it more.
  • Power. Men like to be in control. To be dominant. Anal sex is perfect for that.
  • Tight. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't part of it.
  • Trust. If a woman has anal sex with a man, it's a sign that she trusts him.
  • No chance of pregnancy with anal sex. An advantage for some people.
  • Love butts. Yup. Men like the view.

What do women like about anal sex

Here are 5 reasons why she wants anal sex:

  • ​Same as men. A lot of women have anal sex for the same reason as men. It's naughty. Submissive. They see it in porn. It shows that they trust him.
  • Naughty. It's very sexy to do something that is considered taboo. This is a fantasy a lot of women have.
  • Feeling full. A lot of women say they like anal sex because it makes them feel full. More than normal sex.
  • Stimulation. The wall between the vagina and anus is pretty thin. So women are stimulated intensely (their G spot).
  • Orgasms. A lot of women say that anal orgasms are a lot stronger than vaginal orgasms.

(Tip: Here you can read 13 other things that women want in bed)

Alright. So there are plenty of advantages.

What about the disadvantages?

​These are the 2 biggest ones:

Is anal sex gross?

We've all heard the horror stories. 

And yes.

It can smell.

And afterwards, it's possible that there's some poop on your penis.​

But there's nothing too dramatic.​ There are simple tricks you can use to make it clean & hygienic (More in tip #1, #2 and #14).

Below there are some experiences women have had:​

anal sex forum

Is anal sex painful?

Short answer: Yes, it can be if you do it wrong. In other words, if after reading these 16 tips you still think it's a good idea to just ram it inside without lube (hint: it's not a good idea).

Long answer: 

Look:

painful anal sex

"ow"

You can probably imagine that anal sex is painful if you:​

  • Put it in the wrong hole 'by accident'
  • Do anal like they do it in the porn films
  • Think she'll like it without lube too
  • Ram it inside all at once

The only reason to do this would be if you get a kick out of having blood on your penis. Ew.

(By the way, there is only blood after anal if you do it COMPLETELY wrong. So this won't happen if you follow these tips).

sphincters

How to prevent pain

Very simple:

She needs to be relaxed. Because there are 2 sphincters (=muscles of the anus). These have to be relaxed, otherwise she'll be in pain

You can relax the one on the outside at will. But you have no control over the one on the inside. It can only relax if you... are relaxed. So relaxation is the key.

Here is another anal sex experience I found online:

anal sex experience

Ok.

Now the steps to have awesome anal sex:​

16 Tips For Having GOOD Anal Sex

If you're a woman, skip tip #5. I will use it to teach men some manipulative practical ways to ensure that you'll want to have anal sex with them 😉

#1: Preparations for women

What you will learn here, are 2 steps to make it less 'gross'. And to prevent it from getting gross altogether. Take some time to explain these to your wife/girlfriend.

Number 1:

Anal flushing with anal shower

What is it?

The woman cleans her anus with water beforehand. Quite practical, especially if she's afraid that it's gross. Please note that it's unhealthy to do it too often.

anal douche

There are 2 ways to do it.

1: With extension for shower hose

You can buy an extension for your shower hose. She can use this to wash herself.

But the second option is better:

2: An enema/anal shower

​This is a small device you can use to flush water into your anus. This is one of the cheapest with good reviews.

Here you'll find some good tips on how to use them.

Women: Wax yourselves beforehand

It's not only beautiful for us men, it's also practical.

Look:

​If you have a few hairs down there, it can be dragged along when a man pushes inside... and if this results in pain, that's really your own fault.

Plus. If you wax regularly, it shows you care about your man. He might appreciate you more, and do more nice things for you.

Tip for the men: If she does it once, compliment her on it. She may do it more often if you show her your appreciation.​

This is the most important thing:​

#2: What a woman should NEVER eat before anal sex

Of course you don't want your wife/girlfriend to have diarrhea when you finally try anal for the first time.

So. This here is the 'anal sex diet' for women:

 anal sex food diet

Be smart and don't eat:​

  • Spicy food. Jalapeños for example.

But that is not all.

What you really want, is 'hard' poop, which comes out easily (and doesn't leave a lot of traces).

  • It will get hard if you eat a lot of protein.
  • It becomes smooth if you eat a lot of fibre (beware, this can go wrong).

Food with a lot of protein

  • Meat
  • Eggs
  • Fish
  • Cheese
  • Nuts (peanuts, almonds)
  • Lentils

Food with a lot of fibre

  • Raspberries, brambles, blueberries, apples & pears.
  • Avocado
  • Lentils (the only beans that don't cause windiness).
  • Nuts (peanuts, almonds)

Women should *always* eat the above. Especially during the days beforehand.

And hey, it's also a lot healthier.

French bread

But during the 24 hours beforehand, it's better to do the exact opposite.​

Because your food needs 1 day to be digested. So if you eat food with few fibres on the day itself, it will take longer to reach the exit.

Think of the times when you were in France or Italy, and only ate white baguette.​ You had to go to the bathroom no more than once every few days. Because you weren't eating a lot of fibre.

#3: If you're a man, never forget to do this simple everyday thing

Phew. Everything your girlfriend has to do to be fucked in her ass for your relationship.

Joking.

My good man, there's also something you can do:

​- Cut your nails - 

Yup. Beforehand, you'll go 'exploring' with your fingers.

must have for men

So you should really cut your nails. And file them too, so that all the sharp edges are gone.​

It's the most decent thing to do. She'll be pleased, and so will your bed sheets.

#4: How to make a woman relax

Ok. Now that we've been over this, we can move on to the real preparations. We'll talk about what you should do in the few hours before you have anal sex.

If there is 1 thing you should do for good anal sex, it's this:

Get her to relax

If a woman is not relaxed, it will hurt. Especially the first time.

Below there are a few things you should do to make it as pleasant as possible:​

  • Take your time. A woman needs more time to get ready for sex than us men. Especially when it comes to anal. At least 1 hour of foreplay. And before the foreplay, you should start by getting her excited.
  • Have a drink. If it's the first time she has anal sex, she might need a drink to relax. But beware. No more than 2-3 glasses.
  • Don't start convincing her for anal sex. Especially if it's the first time. If you have to convince her on the day itself, it's better to plan it for another time. Otherwise she'll be much too tense.
  • Take a warm bath or shower together beforehand. This will make her feel relaxed, plus you'll both be clean. This is really a good thing to do.

Alright. These are the things you should do beforehand.

​Before we move on, let's first take a step back:

​#5: How to convince a woman to have anal sex

Convincing a woman to have anal sex can be a little difficult.

Why?

A lot of women are TERRIFIED they'll do something wrong. That it will be gross, that it'll make them look slutty. That you'll never want to have normal sex again. That it'll hurt.

​So if you're in a relationship, and you want to convince your girlfriend for anal sex, it's super important to 'negate' these objections or fears.

How do you do this?

There are 2 manipulative scientifically proven techniques:

Association Effect

Association is when you bring several things together in your mind. 

For example, simple things like: A restaurant makes you think of food.

But also complicated feelings, like a song that makes you think of a certain thing. Maybe it's your favorite song, which makes you very happy, by reminding you of a childhood holiday.

So how can you use this to get her to do anal?​

Very simple.

You will make her associate anal sex with positive feelings.​

And what is one of the most positive feelings a person can have?

Right.

Orgasms.​

How should you handle this?​

A few weeks beforehand, you'll slowly start to connect her orgasms to anal sensations. It's important to do this S L O W L Y. Can't be done in 1 day.

Do this:​

  • When you're licking her pussy, and she's getting close to her orgasm, gently stroke the area around her anus. But do NOT enter. No surprise anal.
  • The next time you have sex (can be the very next time, but also a few times after that) you'll go a little further. Right before she comes, you should put your finger on her anus and push against it very gently.
  • A few days later you should do the same thing, just a little harder.
  • If she approves of all that - so if she isn't negative about it -  you can go a little further next time. You make your finger wet (spit) and *slowly* push it into her ass. Make sure you only use the tip of your finger. Not more.
  • Next time you can go a little deeper.
  • After the fifth time you can even move it a little.
  • In tip #7 I'll give you another tool to use here

Do this every time she's close to coming. After about 5-6x she'll associate the feeling with coming, so she'll be a lot more positive about having something in her ass.

But this isn't just about convincing her to have anal sex.

You also need the following:​

Pygmalion Effect

The pygmalion effect is very cool. Below you can read how it works:

It's like this. You take a class full of young moldable children. At the beginning of the school year you do an IQ test. The results stay hidden from the teacher.

You lie to the teacher, and tell him a small group of students is much smarter than the rest. What the teacher doesn't know, is that you picked them at random.

At the end of the year, you'll do another IQ test.

The result? The students who were thought to be smarter by the teacher, got a higher score.​ Even when tested again 20 years later.

pygmalion effect

Unfortunately, fun experiments like this are no longer allowed.

What does this have to do with anal sex?

I saw this question coming.

Well, here's the answer: ​

If you tell people they're good at something, they'll really get better at it. Because they want to meet the expectations.

You, a clever guy, probably already understand how you can apply this:

  • Give her compliments that she's coming so hard "this way" (with a finger in her ass)
  • Or tell her it looks "so hot" when she does that.

It's manipulation 101.

You're welcome.

Let's move on quickly:

#6: First time anal tips

Ok. You've come far already. 

She is comfortable with your fingers, so now it's time for the real deal.

The first time anal sex. How do you go about it?​

  • Most of the tips you'll get after this, are very practical (#8, #9, #10, #11).
  • But if there's 1 thing you HAVE to know, it's this:

Assume that it's *not* going to work out

Why this mindset?

  • You'll be more relaxed, because you don't feel like you have to be perfect...
  • More importantly: She'll be a lot more relaxed too (so it's more likely that it will work out).

Let's continue with the next part, which is also essential for a good first time:

#7: 3 Anal sex tools you can buy

good vibrator

This is the most popular vibrator all over the world. This is the easiest one to use during anal sex.

The following 3 tools have to be on your night stand, if you want to have good anal sex. #1 and #3 are optional, but #2 is absolutely essential.

1) Vibrator

"What? huh?"

I can hear you thinking.​ And you're right. A vibrator isn't exactly the first thing you think of when we're talking about tools for anal sex. 

But it's actually extra practical.

Why?

You can use it perfectly for stimulating her clitoris - and even her vagina.​

How to use a vibrator during anal
  • Make her come through her clitoris. You should hold it against her clitoris while you take her anally. Very helpful, because this way she'll have an orgasm, which she will then connect to anal sex (remember the association effect we talked about above).

2) Lubrication

This part is essential. ​Lubrication.

Understand this: Vaginas were made for penises. They produce fluids to prevent damage.

Her anus was not made for your penis. So it doesn't produce fluids to protect itself.

Unless your girlfriend is a masochist, it's better to use some lubrication. At least a lot of spit or vaginal fluid.​

 lube for anal

Best lubrication for anal sex

A good option:​

  • Doesn't damage toys and condoms (because otherwise they might tear or release toxic substances).
  • It's a little thicker than usual, because there is no help from vaginal fluid.
  • Is hypoallergenic & not hazardous for her.

The lubrication is made on the basis of water.

This is the one with the best reviews (I use this one myself). If you're looking for a cheaper one, this is a good option because it doesn't contain toxic substances and it's hypoallergenic. 

Rule for lubrication: During anal sex you should never use too little of it.

Some women like to do it without or with a little bit of lubrication. If this is the case with your girlfriend, you'll hear about it later. 

3): Buttplug set

Buttplugs are amazing. And I'll tell you why:

In tip #5 I've explained how you can convince a woman to have anal sex with you. You've learned how to build it up slowly. We left off at the part where you put a finger in her ass while you were licking her pussy.

The next step is using a buttplug:

How to use a buttplug​

  • Apply a lot of lubrication. Preferably lubrication with a water basis. Like one of the 2 mentioned above.
  • Slowly put it in her ass. Step by step. Just keep it still in there. Don't fuss with it.
  • Now give her good oral sex and then have normal sex with her.
  • Now she'll get used to the feeling of there being something in her ass during sex.

​Trying out a buttplug for the first time

Don't start with something like this right away:

how to choose a buttplug

Presenting this to her might not be a good idea...

Look:

It's better to build it up with something small.

 butt plug for anal sex

These days, there are small starter sets available, with different sizes. 

You start with the smallest one. And you slowly build it up to the biggest one. 

This set is a cheap one, very suitable for beginners.​

An extra reason to use a buttplug

Give this a try:

Have her start wearing a buttplug 6-8 hours in advance. This way her anus will be stretched out a bit, and it will be much easier to get inside.

During those 6-8 hours in advance she can start wearing a small buttplug, and then a bigger one a bit later.​

Enough about buttplugs.

You've done enough preparation. Now it's time for the real thing:

#8: Do this before you have anal sex

Ok. You know it's important to get her in the right mood.

Simple solution. Give her an orgasm.

squirting

Give her an orgasm first, a squirting orgasm for example

But please note:

  • If you give her a clitoral orgasm, she may get exhausted. And she'll get sensitive, so you won't be able to stimulate her clit anymore during anal.
  • If you give her a vaginal orgasm (G-spot, A-spot, Deep spot or spuirting orgasm), she will *not* get exhausted.
  • On the contrary, she'll be even more horny.

So. Once you've got her excited (see tip #4) you should give her a vaginal orgasm (so no licking, just use your fingers).

Now it's time to put it inside very romantically.

Use the following trick:​

#9 1 Simple trick to avoid pain during anal

Men, pay attention. This is something you have to tell your girlfriend. 

The problem is often that 'entering' hurts. ​

​This is how you can prevent it:

  • Gently push it against her hole.
  • Now slowly let her push outside (as if she has to poop).
  • This will make the sphincter open, so you can easily get inside.

(If you prepare properly with a buttplug, this step isn't necessary).

You're inside. Now what?

#10: What you should NEVER do when you just got inside

A lot of men think it's smart to go 'full rambo' as soon as they're inside.

No.

I can tell you with completely certainty that your girlfriend won't appreciate this.​

Do the opposite of what you see in porn movies

By the way, it's not your fault that you do it. If you've never done it before, and porn is your only experience, you probably don't know any better.

But remember that it's porn. Not real sex. The actresses have usually been prepared all day (with several buttplugs), have put their asses full of lubrication beforehand,​ and they're often under the influence of weed/cocaine/painkillers during the shoots.

Tip: If you really want to become a great lover, read this article with 6 simple steps to get better in bed.

Do this instead:

  • DO NOT move (not a millimeter) the first minute you're inside her. So that she can relax and get used to you.
  • Some women only need 1 minute, others need 5 minutes. 
  • When she's ready, you can move on to the next step:

#11: Why the woman has to be the boss (for a short while)

If women think anal sex is painful, because they let the man set the pace. Foolish. 

As a man you can never tell whether it hurts or not. She can.

That's why it's a lot better for her to set the pace.

Tell her: "Honey, it's better if you move at first, then it won't hurt."​

  • Let her move slowly at first. You stay completely still.
  • When she's 'loose', you can take control again.
  • Choose a position that will give her a lot of control:

Here are the seven best positions for anal sex:

#12: 7 Simple Anal Sex Positions

These are the 7 best anal sex positions. If you want more, there are another 19 here.

1. The turtle ​

The turtle is an amazing position for anal sex. Why?

  • For her it's easy to relax (natural position).
  • She is submissive, you dominant. If you like that, this is ideal for you.
  • To get into it, she can start in the doggy style position, and draw herself up against her upper legs. 

2. From behind

This is a simple position for anal. And better than doggy, because she can relax properly. 
Please note that she's unable to move a lot like this. So don't start with this position.

​You can put an extra pillow under her stomach, so that the angle is a little better.

spooning anal

3. Spooning

Spooning is ideal for anal sex. She can relax. You can relax. The angle is easy.

Everything about this position is ideal.​

Excellent option for beginners​.

her on top anal

4. Her on top

This is an easy position for anal sex, because she's completely in control.

She can move as quickly and as hard as she wants. Maybe sitting on a couch/chair. 

Ideal to start with, to make it less painful.

piledriver anal

5. Piledriver

This one is for you if you're strong and you like being dominant.

  • Start in the missionary position.
  • Lift her legs.
  • Then lift her ass so that she's resting on her upper back.
chair anal

6. From behind on a chair

This provides an ideal angle, and you can easily get to her ass. 2 tips:

1. A high chair is better, so you can stand while you're fucking her.

2. ​Put the chair close to a wall so that she can push against it and keep her balance.

anal sex position

7. Bossom friend

The most intimate anal sex position. You can look into each other's eyes while she's moving up and down.

Romantic.​

Ahum. So let's add some cool shit now:​

#13: Add dominance & dirty talk​

Remember why women like anal sex?

​Aside from feeling full and the more intense orgasms, something else:

  • It's naughty. Taboo.
  • She can be submissive.

It's always a good idea to add dirty talk and dominance.

How to use dirty talk during anal, to make it hotter

You should build it up slowly. So don't start with things like: "Say you're my little slut". Chill. Out.

This is how you do it:​

  • Start with little compliments. Let her know how much you like it and how sexy she looks.
  • Add little questions later. Like: "You like that, huh?"
  • Then start building it up step by step.
  • In this artcle there are 12 more examples of dirty talk.

Dominance during anal

It's a rather complicated subject. So I'll give you a small thing you should apply:

  • Take her from behind. 
  • Grab her hair. As close to her head as possible.

If you grab her hair closer to her head, it won't hurt.

  • Gently make a fist with your fingers, so that you have a good hold on her.
  • Now gently pull it backwards while you're fucking her.

With the help of these tips, you will certainly have great anal sex.

But there are a few things to pay attention to:​

​#14: Hygiene during anal sex

Rather important. Just because it's good, it doesn't mean it's hygienic to just shove your penis up there.

So, just a few facts and tips:​

  • Always let her go to the bathroom beforehand, and clean up afterwards. A single finger with soap is enough to clean up.
  • Anal flushing is possible, but not necessary. It's not healthy for her, because it flushes good bacteria away too. So it's best to do as little of this as possible.
  • See tip#1 and #2 for more tips for women, regarding food etc.
  • For women, don't flush afterwards
​STDs and anal sex

If one of you has an STD, there's a much bigger chance that you'll give it to the other person through anal sex than vaginal sex. 

Let's compare. The chance of getting AIDS is less than 1% through vaginal sex, but 5-10% with anal.

SO ALWAYS USE A CONDOM IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TESTED.

What a man should know about avoiding urinary tract infactions 

A lot of women are afraid (with good reason) that they'll get an infection through anal sex.

Look​:

In your intestines, there are 'poop bacteria'. ​And if you get those in your penis, you may get an infection. So a burning sensation while you pee, murky pee etc.

But this is the thing:

For men, this chance isn't as big.​

Our urethra is about 20 cm. A woman's urethra is about 4x as short: 5cm. So women get infections in their vagina and/or bladder much faster, if you don't pay attention where you put your penis after you've pulled it out of her ass. 

So NEVER put your penis into her vagina (or anywhere close to it) after it's been inside her ass.

And now. This is no reason to convince your girlfriend to do 'Ass To Mouth'. This won't make the bacteria go away.​

How to clean your penis after anal sex (if you don't use a condom)

Go to the bathroom. Wash it gently with some handsoap.

If you can, pee before you move on with vaginal sex. If you don't, she can still get an infection (and you as well).

If you're done with sex, always make sure you pee. Otherwise you might get a bladder infection yourself.​

Ok.

The next part:​

#15: Coming through anal sex

Nope. It's not about how you'll come during anal. I'm sure that will work just fine.

But how she'll come through anal sex. How she'll get an anal orgasm.

Prepare her properly

As said before (tip #9), coming anally is not very difficult. As long as she has had vaginal orgasms before that.

Because women can come multiple times, and it even gets easy to make her come after she's had orgasms. 

So. Don't go straight for her ass. But give her 1 or 2 vaginal orgasms first (You're welcome woman everywhere).

The second thing you want to do, is this:

Use the vibrator

Before (tip #7) I told you to get a vibrator. This is why:

  • When you give her vaginal orgasms, you avoid her clitoris.
  • So during anal sex, you'll stimulate her clitoris for the first time.
  • She'll be extra sensitive there, so she'll come a lot sooner.

Make sure you don't come too soon yourself

Especially with anal sex, it's important that you can delay your orgasm.

  • She needs a little while longer to come
  • While it's just tighter and hotter for you.

So lasting longer is very important for good anal sex.

Here you'll find a few good articles, if you'd like to know more about this.

#16: Why you should never forget afterplay after you've done anal

Ok. you've come. She's had her first anal orgasm.

What now?

There are a few simple things you should do now, so that:

  • She doesn't feel ashamed
  • She wants to have anal more often
  • She doesn't feel used
  • She thinks you're amazing

That's why afterplay is important. 

afterplay important

How to do good afterplay

Don'ts

  • Fall asleep
  • Check your phone
  • Continue the dirty talk

Do's

  • Give her attention
  • Shower together (especially after anal sex)
  • Physical contact: cuddling

If you'd like to know more about afterplay, check this article: 5 Simple Tips For Amazing Afterplay

This is the most important thing to remember:

You should turn her on slowly. If you take 30-60 minutes, it will be a lot easier to have anal sex, and give her an anal orgasm. 

That is why, as a bonus with this article, I have developed this simple trick.

It's called "The Master Lover Principle" and it will make women more horny than you could ever imagine.

But the best thing?

Afterwards she'll long to have more sex with you (and only you).

Would you like to know how it works?

Click the button below, enter your email address and receive The Master Lover Principle for free and anonymously. 

​*It's free and anonymous

Charles Black
 

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