One-night stands are the #1 reason that humans go to nightclubs. And because women are a lot like humans, many of them like nightclubs too.
A lot of things can go wrong during a one-night stand.
Here you will learn 23 tips that will give you an awesome one-night stand (and will even make her want to see you more often).
What is a One-Night Stand, and is It Normal/Good for You?
Definition / meaning of a one-night stand: A one-night stand is the act of sleeping with someone (after a date or being out).
If that’s all it is, you call it a one-night stand. Usually it’s a one-time thing and it’s only about the sex.
In this article you will learn how to GET a one-night stand and how to make the sex as good as possible.
A lot of people think that a one-night stand, which is part of “casual sex”, is bad for you.
They call it superficial. They might even think it’s a little dirty.
Some men and women are even proud, that they have never had a one-night stand.
I take another view.
Why You Should Have One-Night Stands
Because if you meet someone you find attractive and who you would like to have sex with, it surely can’t hurt to have a nice evening?
Furthermore, if you deny yourself that pleasure, because you’re afraid that others will judge you, I think you’re weak, rather than strong.
But that’s not just my opinion. Science agrees with me too.
Scientific Research on One-Night Stands Says This:
New research shows that not all “casual sex” is bad. For those who are actually interested, it could have the following advantages:
Oh, and there is another small point. Sex is also a very pleasant thing to do.
But you probably knew that already ;)
Why One-Night Stands Will Be Good for Your Future Relationship
Scientific research shows that if you first sleep with 12-30 partners before you start a relationship, that relationship has ~75% greater chance of being successful (usually that percentage is ~5%). Source.
This is because of 2 things:
- You meet more people, so there’s more chance that you’ll find the one.
- You become experienced at flirting, relationships and sex, so YOU will be a better person for the opposite sex.
In this article you will learn everything about point 2 (getting better at flirting, relationships and sex):
Step 1: How Do You Get a One-Night Stand?
Soon I will teach you how to make sure that your one-night stand is amazing.
But first, let’s talk about how to get a one-night stand:
Steps For Getting A One-Night Stand
1. Find the right club or bar for finding a one-night stand. A club with only older people or couples is not suitable. A club with a lot of (30 or more) single women from 18-30 is ideal. Student bars are usually the easiest (if you are also around that age).
2. Talk to her. If you think talking to her is difficult, familiarize yourself with the following two points:
– Conversation techniques to keep the conversation going.
– Learn a couple of sentences by heart, to use as “backup” if you’re struggling for a moment.
3. Create attraction. Three simple ways to do this are:
– Make sure your body language is relaxed
– Touch her.
– Push-Pull technique: First, give her something positive and then add something negative, or pull something positive away. (“You look nice, but dressed a little bit too hipster“)
4. Show her that you like her. Have you ever experienced talking to a lady for half an hour, or even an hour, but it wasn’t going anywhere?
If you still haven’t let her know that you like her after 5 minutes, you are doomed to end up in the “friendzone.”
5. Build up sexual tension. Dance with her, touch her and often give her loving and confident looks. As soon as she gives you a puppy look in return, you know that you’re in.
6. Take the initiative by taking her home with you.
Don’t expect her to take you home if she likes you. In my experience, the woman has never taken the initiative. There are plenty of reasons why, but that doesn’t matter right now.
The most important thing is that you understand that you have to take the initiative. Suggest going for a walk, or having an “afterparty” at your place.
Don’t think you’re golden when you take her home. Even if she’s on your couch, you can still ruin it.
Believe me, you can still ruin it when she’s naked on top of you.
(I speak from experience, but that is a story for another time.)
Anyway, let me tell you about a few big mistakes you can make. Read the 7 causes below, and make sure these things never happen to you.
I don’t care how you remember them. Stick them on your fridge, tattoo them on your ass, whatever. Just make sure you don’t forget them. And if you do, and miss a hot playmate because you forgot one, from now on it’ll be your own fault.
Cool. Let’s go:)
7 Causes of a Bad One-Night Stand and How to Prevent These (My Experiences)
23 Tips for an Ideal One-Night Stand Without Awkwardness & Bizarre Situations
Part 1: The Preparation
Now, you might have heard people say: “Preparation is half the work”, but this expression is not enough when it comes to sex.
When it comes to sex, preparation is all the work. If you have a filthy bed, your woman might run off. A friend of mine didn’t prepare for sex once. His child is five years old now. He knows this because he has been making child support payments for five years…
In short, make sure you are prepared, and save yourself a lot of trouble.
Here is the 1st tip:
1. Remove Messes & Filth
Yes, I know, men hate cleaning.
I do, too.
But I still do it. Why?
Because my love for sex is bigger than my hatred for cleaning. So, if that means I have to do half an hour of rubbing before she starts to… uhm well, you get the picture 😉
Because you wouldn’t want her to change her mind just because your place is a huge mess.
Make sure that the house looks neat and habitable before you bring a woman over. (There is often a big difference with what you would find clean and neat.) It’s not that much trouble.
If you don’t do this, there’s a good chance you’ll ruin the evening in a very early stage.
Aside from your house, there are other preparations that are just as important…
2. Prepare Yourself for Sex.
This will make you feel comfortable and calm, because you will have all the preparations under control. This way you can focus completely on the lady.
It’s a good thing to know yourself.
If you know you usually come more than twice, be sure to have enough condoms ready. It’s advisable to have at least 2 condoms in your wallet. Always make sure to check this before you go out.
Finding a One-Night Stand
Now that you have everything ready, and you have your condoms with you, there is one more thing that’s important:
3. Have Zero Expectations.
If your expectations are too high, you may not get a one-night stand.
Increase Your Chances of Getting a One-Night Stand
The first half is done. You are completely done with your preparations.
This will make you feel calm, confident and good, because you know that you’re ready.
Now we will make a small jump:
Part 2: Later, at Your Place...
We are just going to skip the whole “picking her up” & getting a one-night stand bit.
You’ve learned all about that above.
We will now continue with what you should do when you’ve taken her home (or when you get to her place):
4. Make Her Feel at Ease.
This is the #1 thing that goes wrong with a lot of men.
A woman goes home with them, but on the way to your house or even at your house, she changes her mind.
This is purely because she does NOT feel comfortable.
How do you avoid this?
Something that also helps is this:
"Make Yourself at Home"
Then, you could do these 4 things:
She will feel safe, comfortable and relaxed. This is the foundation for the next tip.
5. Turn Her on and Get Her Sopping Wet
After you’ve made her comfortable, it’s time to make her horny. A lot of men think that if they themselves are turned on, a woman is just as turned on.
And what is the result?
Quick, short sex, with the woman rarely coming.
You can’t call it good sex.
How You Do Make Her Horny?
You have made her sopping wet. Now you should take care of 1 thing.
6. Give Her at Least 1 Orgasm During Foreplay
Did you know that most women do NOT come during sex? Only 49% do.
And, did you know that this percentage is even lower with one-night stands?
That’s why it’s so important for you to do foreplay.
This way you can ensure that she also comes and has an orgasm.
So, how do you make her come during foreplay?
Steps for Foreplay
1. Start early with kissing, because women need more stimulation
2. Undress her slowly, while you keep giving her kisses
3. Pet her for at least 20 minutes. This way she’ll get sexual confidence.
4. Do everything as slowly as possible. The slower you go, the better.
5. Make sure to switch between playful, nonchalant, funny & sexy. This way you keep it unpredictable
6. Establish eye contact with her every now and then, and then give her your “sex face” to increase tension and intensity
7. Download the cheat sheet at the bottom of this article, to get a step-by-step plan for licking her.
I still remember the first time I used this step-by-step plan like it was yesterday.
While I closed the door to my place, we immediately started kissing passionately.
Like two magnets drawn together, we walked to the bedroom.
In the bedroom I undressed her slowly (30-40 minutes).
Usually, I would have already come and fallen asleep.
I petted and kissed her slowly, over her whole body. (20-30 minutes)
Then I fingered her G-spot and A-spot. (10-20 minutes).
If she’ll let you, you should continue until she has one or more orgasms.
You’ve come quite far already, and have completed these steps:
If you want to learn how to give her a good orgasm, use these 7 steps to give her a squirting orgasm.
Time for the next part…
Part 3: Long, Hard & Good Sex
Tips #7 to #14 are about the sex during the one-night stand.
You will learn 3 things:
7. Let Yourself Go (Just Like the Woman)
This ensures maximum enjoyment for both of you. Because you let go, it makes it easier for her to do so, too.
Remember that you probably won’t see each other again. So this is the ideal situation to make her sex fantasies come true.
So, take this chance to be as kinky and sexy as possible.
Tips for Letting Yourself Go:
Moan and scream without restraint.
Maybe you’ve seen it happen, or experienced it yourself. When you nearly come, you grab a pillow or the bedding. This way the tension is restrained from flowing through your body at maximum intensity.
If you scream, this energy can flow, and you’ll see that it’s even more intense when you come.
Aside from that, you’re also offering her the opportunity to try the same thing, because you’re doing it too.
You both let yourself go 100%. Do keep the following tip in mind.
8. Being Dominant as an Alpha Male
The reason she wants to be dominated is simple: it’s a primal instinct.
She just wants to be a real lady: feminine, sensual and sexual. Giving up all the control, without you using your power the wrong way.
Once a woman is relaxed, she really wants 1 thing:
To be dominated
Make sure you always stay respectful and don’t humiliate her! Whether she likes this or not is different for every woman.
So build it up step by step. This way you’ll never go too far.
How to Dominate Her
Here is a simple tip to help you dominate her. As soon as you come in you grab her hand right away, and push her against the wall. Make sure to keep a hand behind her head, so she doesn’t hurt herself.
Tell her to close her eyes and only follow your touch. In between, you could ask if she likes it. As soon as she has said “yes” 1 or 2 times, just continue without permission.
Push her onto the bed and bite her lip, her nipple and her neck, just a little harder than normal. Feel free to softly pull her hair and softly slap her butt.
The most important part of dominance is the next tip:
9. Dirty Talk Light
There are 2 ways to turn a woman on:
Physically (touch) & mentally.
Dirty talk is a way of turning her on mentally.
But, please note:
There are a lot of pitfalls here, and you can make a lot of mistakes. (Just two examples: going too fast or saying the wrong thing). Give dirty talk a chance and experiment with it.
Try saying this sentence (before you really have sex):
10. Don't Fake Emotions.
This is one of the dumbest things you can do during sex.
Sex is the time to be open. To let go. And to stop playing games.
So don’t try to be a porn star while you’re possibly a little insecure. Feel free to say that you like something/don’t like something.
Just don’t try to pretend. She’ll see through that, and it’ll ruin the atmosphere.
Do you still want specific suggestions? I will write a specific blog about this later.
While you are mentally and physically turning her on, it’s important to really understand the following tip:
11. What You Should Never Say During a One-Night Stand - and What You Should Say
It’s always important for there to be communication during a one-night stand.
If something is too rough, if she likes it etc.
But, there is a WRONG way and a RIGHT way to do it:.
What You Absolutely Should Not Do:
This comes across as too insecure. And it’ll also make her less turned on.
What You Should Do:
This way she doesn’t have to think, and she won’t be distracted from the moment.
Most men, myself included, make all of these mistakes during their first one-night stand.
This really does result in awkward moments.
I was one of those people who asked open questions if it didn’t go completely smoothly for a moment.
This requires the woman to think, and that’s absolutely not beneficial for the sex.
Open communication will make her feel comfortable, and it will give you the opportunity to experiment. In the next tip, you can read how to do that.
12. Have a Standard Good Story if You Have Gone Too Far.
It could be that you’ve gone too far.
For example, surprise anal sex (here you can find tips for how to do it right).
Carelessly thrusting into the wrong hole when you’re drunk… or something else… can happen.
Of course, it’s better if it doesn’t.
It’s much better to be prepared for this, so that this awkward situation doesn’t have to last long for either of you. This way the sex won’t end here.
Solution #1: Ignore it
You stop what you’re doing, say “Sorry, it’s OK” and continue with the sex. In most cases, this will work.
Solution #2: If she’s upset
It’s important not to make a mountain out of a molehill. You do this by just carrying on like nothing has happened. Take the initiative again by telling her what you like. Of course, only if the situation allows it. Read more in tip 15.
13. Why It's Better Not to Do Your Best
It’s a one-night stand. A lot of men make the mistake of trying to impress a woman too much.
This makes them come across as awkward, because they are trying to act like a porn star.
14. Hold on for at Least 21 Minutes.
Did you know that most men come too soon during a one-night stand?
It’s really a bummer for a woman. Because she can forget about her orgasm.
Why 21 minutes?
Research shows that 92.3% of all women come DURING SEX if the man lasts at least 21 minutes.
So, if you can delay your orgasm, it means that you can fuck her longer and more often. And, it won’t take much more than that for you to be better than any other man she’s ever slept with.
Here are a few tips to delay your orgasm:
1. Improve Your Mental Control.
Coming too soon is usually something psychological.
Thoughts like: “I shouldn’t come” will only make you more stressed, so you’ll come sooner.
2. Eat the Right Food.
3. Train Your PC Muscle.
Your PC muscle is a muscle that does a couple of things:
Delaying your orgasm is one important thing during a one-night stand.
But what if you could stay hard for longer?
15. Keep "Your Friend" Hard for Longer
The longer you keep him hard, the better…
The reason is simple: You can give her more orgasms, and come multiple times yourself. Plus, most men are so drunk during a one-night stand, that they can’t keep it up.
- Start with working out regularly
- Stop watching porn regularly. Here you can read what porn does to your brain.
Articles with tips to get harder erections and keep them for longer:
Your extraordinarily good sex is done. Both of you have come (several times). What now?
16. Afterplay With a Touch of Emotion
By doing this, you will create intimacy and you increase the chance of having sex more often if that’s what you want.
Do not fall asleep right after you’ve come, under any circumstances. If you really want her to have a good time, this is what you’ll do:
More on afterplay? 5 Simple Tips For Good Afterplay >>
The one-night stand is over. Both of you will get some good sleep. But, the next morning there will be new chances, and difficulties to be solved.
But what do you do the next morning?
Part 4: Had a One-Night Stand. And Now?
You’ve had a one-night stand. What’s next?
There are 3 options:
17. What to Do if You Want to Leave (without Hurting Her Feelings)
It’s always good to know how to handle such a situation beforehand, so that you don’t have to make it unnecessarily difficult for yourself. You do it like this:
But, you can also do something like this:
The mysterious note
You could also leave her place mysteriously by not waking her up and leave a handwritten note.
Write a combination of the previous 2 tips on the note: that you had a nice time, but you have to go to work.
Leaving her place is often not very hard.
This is often the hardest thing:
18. How to Get Her Out of Your House
If you are very good in bed, you may be addictive for a woman. This might make her want to stay with you the whole day or even the whole weekend.
Seeing as you have more important priorities at the moment, you should do this:
The first two simple actions are the same as those in the previous tip. In this situation you could also offer to walk her to the closest public transport or arrange a taxi for her.
Another smart option I personally always use in this situation: Start to get dressed and just start your own morning routine. This will automatically make her follow, and she’ll understand that you’d like her to leave.
But from my own experience I know that this is different in every situation.
Adjust your solution to this.
The most important thing is to treat her with respect, and send her home feeling good.
If you don’t want to go your separate ways right away, there is another possibility,
which I think is the best option:
19. Morning Sex!
And why not? Just go for it if you feel like it, and if you’re still attracted to her.
Just don’t assume that you both want morning sex.
That’s why you should start all over again, make her comfortable, turn her on, foreplay etc.
More on this in the 6 steps.
Example of Morning Sex Scenario
You wake up and she’s still asleep…
Look at her to see if she’s really that stunningly beautiful lady you took home with you last night. It’s also possible that, now that you’re sober, you suddenly feel a lot different than the night before.
Assuming she’s gorgeous and hot, you can start waking her up by petting her, kissing her and cuddling her.
Continue this until you are both horny enough to have sex. If you really want to do well, make her come first, before you penetrate her.
Secret: Make sure that the morning sex is the opposite of the sex of the previous night. So, if it was hard and fast at night, do it extremely slow and soft now.
But, what if you want more than a one-night stand?
20. One-Night Stand, or More (Relationship)?
Maybe you’ve just had a one-night stand. And then you want more.
Maybe she was surprisingly great.
How do you handle this?
21. Add on Facebook?
A question I often get is if it’s wise to add a one-night stand on Facebook.
Did she (or he if you’re reading this as a woman) show interest in you?
What Should You Send in Your First Message & How Do You Get a Date After a One-Night Stand?
My experience has taught me that this is the best thing to send: “That was worth repeating.“ Afterwards, you can set a date.
22. With an Acquaintance or a Colleague? 5 Tips
Maybe you’ve had a one-night stand with an acquaintance or a colleague.
What do you do?
1. Make Sure the Sex is Good
Women always gossip amongst each other. And so do men. And if your skills in bed are a topic of discussion, it’s better if they’re good.
If you want to do better in bed, this article is a good place to start.
2. Be Courteous
Another thing: If you behave like an asshole (kick her out or skip foreplay, for example) this will also be talked about. Aside from the fact that it’s not good for your bond.
3. Try to Make It a Regular Thing
If you think it’s “worth repeating”, you should say so. Something regular doesn’t automatically mean a relationship, but if you both enjoy it, why not mess around?
4. Only a One-Night Stand?
If you want to keep it a one-night stand and nothing more, be more clear about that.
Tell her, And, for example, you can also say you’d appreciate it if she doesn’t talk about it to her colleagues or friends.
5. Keep in Mind That Others Will Find Out
In 9 out of 10 cases these stories will still come out. So, it’s better to remember this next time. You should then find someone who is not an acquaintance or colleague to have a one-night stand with.
23. Feelings After a One-Night Stand
If you have feelings after a one-night stand, this can be due to two things:
1. You Have Regrets.
Maybe you were even drunk during the one-night stand, or maybe you had unsafe sex.
Or, maybe the other person just wasn’t as fun as you had thought.
Here are a couple of reasons to still be happy:
Have You Had Unprotected Sex?
Time for the morning-after pill and a visit to the Municipal Health Service.
2. You Have Feelings for the Other Person
Having feelings for the other person after a one-night stand is very normal, especially if the sex was good and you both had good experiences. Then work according to the steps in tips #20, #21 and #22.
7 Do's and Don'ts & One-Night Stand Etiquette
Here there are some more tips that fall under the one-night stand etiquette and do’s and don’ts. Do check the tips above for the whole overview.
Use these 23 tips and you’ll probably be the best lover she’s ever had during a one-night stand. She will be telling her friends stories about it for weeks.