Do you want to know how to talk dirty without embarrassing yourself?
You might have been put in the situation before, you go to bed with your woman, you’re making out, you start pulling at each others clothes, scratching at each others backs, pulling her body against yours.
And then she says it…
“Talk dirty to me”
You freeze.
What are you supposed to say?!?
You blurt out the first thing that comes to mind
Her face says it all. You feel like an utter failure.
When you’re put in that “talk dirty to me” situation – it can feel like you’re standing on train tracks with an oncoming disaster of awkwardness.
(Talk about a way to make your locomotive go soft)
But the good news is, talking dirty doesn’t have to be awkward, embarrassing, or ridiculous at all.
With a few simple principles not only can dirty talk be easy and smooth…
…your girlfriend will have to start having to bring a couple of extra pairs of panties around to your place just so that she can stay fresh.
And I’ll show you exactly how.
In this guide, we’ll go over:
- Why dirty talk is a necessity to keep your girlfriend around and aroused
- 3 crucial things you need to know before talking dirty
- How to start talking dirty with your girlfriend when you have no idea where to start
- The top 10 dirty talk lines you can copy and paste that are a great way to turn her on
- Things you should avoid while talking dirty and how to keep from laughing or embarrassing yourself
How doing this can ease you into feeling more comfortable when talking dirty to your girlfriend
Why Talk Dirty?
So why even try to do something that can feel awkward, cringey, or just downright terrifying? And also could risk upsetting your girlfriend?
If you attempt to even try to master dirty talk, you’ll bring her a level of satisfaction that no other guy can.
Why’s that?
Because most men have no clue how to talk dirty.
While dirty talking can be a terrifying prospect, it’s a necessity to keep her coming back for more.
To give her the kind of sex that keeps her coming back to you, it must be emotionally and psychologically stimulating.
Talking Dirty is the “Industry Standard”
Romance novels are a $1.5 billion yearly industry in the USA alone *.
Ladies make up 90% of those sales.
If that isn’t proof that words with sex aren’t important, I don’t know what is.
Psychological and emotional stimulation is that important.
If you aren’t able to give her this type of stimulation during sex, you’re not a man who’s capable of fully satisfying her.
It’s as simple as that.
Just to recap, learning how to talk dirty will allow you to:
- Fully satisfy her emotionally and psychologically
- Get her addicted to you
- Set yourself apart from any other guy she’s been with
Sex has much more to do with emotions for ladies than it does for men. It’s more in the mind for a girl.
If you are not stimulating her emotions you are not someone who is capable of fully satisfying her.
And the easiest way to provide her with this emotional stimulation is through Dirty Talk.
So how can you do it? That’s what we’re going to cover today.
What You Need to Know Beforehand
The difference between a dirty talk line that will send a shiver down her back and straight into her panties and one which will have her replying to her friend in memes depends on her preferences and it’s usually not very apparent.
There are a few important distinctions you need to understand.
The first is this:
There are three thresholds in a girl’s mind when it comes to talking dirty:
- 😊 What she feels good doing
- 😬 What she’s (reluctantly) willing to do
- 😶 What she won’t do
If you try to go to stage 3 you will upset her and the fun will immediately come to an end, possibly permanently.
If you try to play in stage 2, things will happen, she might even play along for a little while. But eventually it will all come crashing down, she doesn’t want to be here, she’s just doing it to keep you happy.
And if you stay firmly in stage 1, you will not make her uncomfortable, but at the same time you will not get her very excited.
The key is to stay in stage 1, but flirt along the boundary of stage 1 and 2, this provides her with all the thrill and excitement that she craves, without upsetting her.
Progress carefully and with good communication and you can’t go wrong. Don’t worry I’ll show you exactly how.
Another point of distinction…
She has preferences in mind for the level of dominance and desire in dirty talk from you.
Dirty talk typically falls into one of two categories:
- 💋Desire dirty talk and
- 👇Dominance dirty talk
Some women want 💋desire dirty talk 90% of the time and 👇dominance dirty talk 10% of the time.
💋 Desire dirty talk consists of things like…
“You feel so good”
“You drive me wild”
“I love it when you suck my dick”
And some women want 👇dominance dirty talk 90% of the time and the 💋desire dirty talk 10% of the time.
👇 Dominance dirty talk consists of things like…
“Lie on the bed”
“Say thank you”
“Shut the fuck up”
The correct balance of both desire and dominance talk varies from girl to girl.
And it can be tricky to get that balance correct when you or the girl are new to each other or dirty talk in general.
BUT, when a girl is into dominant dirty talk (and most girls are when it’s introduced correctly) it gets them way more turned on for sex.
On average, women start to prefer more dominant dirty talk if you introduce it correctly (we’re talking over days, weeks, and even months).
It’s not always the case.
Being more dominant is way riskier than the former.
So how do you introduce it without risking upsetting her or embarrassing yourself?
Don’t worry, we’re going to cover that in a bit.
For right now, remember to slowly introduce higher levels of intensity and frequency of 👇dominant dirty talk.
On to my last point…
How you deliver the lines is just as important as the lines you deliver
If you’re nervous, she’ll see it. If your voice shakes, she’ll hear it.
Make sure everything you say is:
- 😎 Delivered smoothly
- 👟 With the right pace
- 🎵 In the right tone
You can’t just go at it like a beginner…
Gaining a pro level of confidence deserves an in-depth study of its own.
That’s why I have made a separate guide you can sign up for.
First off, How Do You Start? Course Correcting the Sex Ship
Maybe you feel a bit overwhelmed and self-conscious when you talk dirty with your girlfriend (and possibly like a pervert).
It’s something new. You’re both using your words to enhance sex in a new respect.
The good news is, it gets easier after you do it for the first time.
It becomes a slippery slide that you can explore on your own (just like her pussy).
The hard and fast rule is that before sex, talk about things you know she likes. Examples:
- I’m going to kiss every inch of your body from your neck down.
- I’m going to tease you until you scream.
- I’m going to use your body to pleasure myself (Warning: not for beginners)
And then when you’re actually having sex, say what you like. Examples:
- I love it when you suck me like that.
- I love it when you get wild like this.
- Oh, you’re so good at that.
- I like it when you beg me to fuck you (Warning: not for beginners)
This gets the imagination engine of a woman going far before sex actually starts. (And we’ve already talked about how important that is)
You’re basically re-enforcing the things you like the most during sex through verbal confirmation.
🛳 You’re course-correcting your way into the best sex on every level.
Introducing new ideas
A bit of a side note. However, you need to take a different approach if you want to try something you suspect she might reject.
Let’s take anal for example
If you ask a girl if she’d like to try anal many girls are going to give a strong NO.
When they think of anal, they might have a lot of ideas about it
- Maybe they think it’s gross
- Maybe every guy in the past has been rough and stupid about it
- Maybe she thinks it’s demeaning
- Maybe she thinks it will hurt
- Maybe she thinks it won’t feel good
- and on and on and on
So you ask her, she says no and then she is very unlikely to change her mind.
But let’s say instead, you never talk about anal and one time you do something that is almost guaranteed to be inoffensive to almost any woman you sleep with.
While you’re licking her pussy, you take a very very lubricated finger and you gently, gently rub the outside of her a-hole as she’s just about to orgasm.
Then you leave it, you don’t say anything
The next time you’re in the same position, you place your finger there and you say something like “Did it feel good when I rubbed you last time?”
By introducing it this way, you are getting her feedback on her actual experience and not her ideas about what she thinks the thing is.
Progress slowly this way with good communication and you’d be surprised what your partner will be open to trying (and you too.)
Just Express What You Genuinely Want to Do
Take a moment to decide what you want to do genuinely – you have your sex fantasies, and there are specific things you want to do to her specific body parts.
Or maybe there were times in bed she did something to drive you wild.
Become aware of what you want to do (or what you liked.)
Say What You Like
At first, you might be worried about what you can say.
But as you go through, you’ll realize there’s so much to say.
If you’re too caught up in the moment even to want more, just express how you feel.
Things like…
“I really like when you bite my lips”
“Do that thing you do with your tongue again”
“I love the way you moan.”
Talking dirty isn’t limited to pleasuring your girlfriend – it’s a two-way street and a win-win.
Your girlfriend wants you to be into it so she can let go and be dirty too.
The more you start talking dirty with your words, the more you both will like it.
What better way to share what each other likes if not right from the source?
Try Role-Playing
Roleplay is a more advanced form of dirty talk and something you don’t want to introduce right off the bat.
What’s great about role play?
💣Let me drop a depressing (or liberating) scientific knowledge-bomb on you.
There’s a little something that’s been dubbed the Coolidge effect. (funny story on how that came to be)
Basically, it’s an observed phenomenon in almost every critter that can bone another critter.
Over time, a routine sexual partner’s presence becomes less ‘rewarding’ to the brain.
Translation, over time we just have less and less desire for the same sexual partner.
You see this effect even with porn.
The brain loves novel things.
The porn industry is, has, and always will be booming.
This novelty is why this happens and why not everybody is wanking it to their favorite saved clip on repeat their whole sexual life.
So when a man can only have sex with one woman, his interest in sex and the frequency with which he wants it declines.
So basically, it’s natural to go ahead and pursue having sex with any random girl you find attractive.
😅Try explaining that one to your girlfriend.
This effect is just part of our brain, genetic programming be damned.
However, not all hope is lost.
Dirty talk can work like a glitch to short circuit this effect
When you talk dirty combined with role-playing it can give you the excitement like you’re having sex with your partner for the very first time.
And on top of that…
When done right, roleplay can create a safe environment for both you and your girl that leads to a lot of kinky exploration.
For example, your partner may not want to give you a blowjob, but when she is no longer Jessie from New York, but Cindy from Las Vegas, she’s much more open to the idea.
It seems strange, but she feels less judged, like it’s not her doing it. She’s stepping into another character like an actor on a stage.
Whether it’s a secretary and boss, college professor and student, or whichever you like – live your sex dream with your partner.
Top 10 Dirty Things To Say
In the beginning, when you are starting to talk dirty talk with a girl you want to say low intensity things (i.e well within the “What she’s happy to do stage” and you want to start with more desire than dominance.
So I’m going to give you seven desire statements and three dominant statements.
- Moan
You don’t have to even say a word. Just moan. Do it every time she does something you like in bed. Moaning is the easiest and safest way.
- “Holy shit, you look good in that”
Whatever she’s wearing whether it’s her dress or her lingerie
- “How did you get so sexy?”
Say it with a cheeky smile. It may sound cheesy don’t worry about it don’t let women fool you they love the cheese 🧀
- “You smell so good it drives me wild”
Letting a woman know you love the way she smells makes her feel desired and thus more attracted toward you.
- “Can you feel how hard you make me?”
You can say this…
- When she has your dick in your hand
- When it’s in her mouth
- When it’s in her
It doesn’t matter. Now notice here I said:
“Can you feel how hard you make me?”
NOT “Can you feel how hard I am?”
You want the focus to be your desire for her. So by saying “…how hard you make me” you paint that picture of you desiring her which is what she wants to hear.
- “It’s so good to be inside you”
Again, the focus is on her. You’re not saying “It’s so good to be inside someone.”
Big difference.
- “I can’t wait to fuck the shit out of you”
Now, don’t use this the first time you have sex with a girl.
This is a little bit of a step up and as you can see it’s a bit of a mix of dominance and desire.
This is great but let me repeat that…you don’t want to say that the first time you have sex with a girl..
But if you’ve had positive reactions to the other lines in this video then after two or three times you can introduce that line.
- “Take off your…”
Take off your dress. Take off your top. Take off your bra. Take off your panties. Whatever works. Another line that tells her what to do in the bedroom that warms her up to dominance dirty talk.
- Go faster/slower
Slowly testing the waters with the dominance talk, while improving the sex for yourself as well. Especially good if you always do it in a certain way, mix it up and get her excited.
- “Play with your clit”
Now, I recommend you say this while she’s sucking your dick or while you’re having sex with her. Like number 7, this isn’t one you want to introduce the first time you start using it.
But if you are using the other dirty talking stuff and you’re getting good feedback from her then after two or three times you can try this line.
Notice here that I gave you seven desires and three dominant lines. That’s important because that is exactly the sort of ratio you want to introduce in the beginning.
So don’t just take the dominance lines and start throwing those at her.
You really want to balance your use of dominance with the desire until you figure out what she’s into.
Things You Should Avoid While Talking Dirty
Since dirty talking is about breaching boundaries, certain things should be avoided to enjoy it to the fullest. Because the goal is to get pleasure out of it.
Here are some things not to do:
Don’t Judge
A brief but relevant history lesson:
In 1886, German psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing published Psychopathia Sexualis, one of the first clinical works which described, labeled, and “diagnosed” unusual sexual behaviors.
In 2016, a psychologist and researcher in Quebec published some remarkable research – based on a randomized sample survey of Quebec’s general population.
The study found that nearly half of the sample reported interest in at least one or more sexual behaviors which von Krafft-Ebing would have described as deviant and pathological.
Around one-third of the sample had pursued these behaviors at least once, and many so-called deviant interests, such as voyeurism, fetishism, masochism were reported by participants at levels above what could be considered statistically unusual.
In many of these sexual interests, there were no differences between men and women, and interest in sexual masochism was significantly linked with higher levels of life satisfaction.
Joyal’s remarkable research turns von Krafft-Ebing’s theories on their head and shatters many clinical assumptions about sexuality.
The point is: Time’s change. This kind of “sexual deviance” is more common than you may have assumed.
So be completely non-judgmental when you talk dirty. Don’t judge yourself for both liking and saying things.
More importantly, don’t judge your partner either.
Create a safe zone for both of you to go wild and explore.
Remember – it’s not just about you, it’s about her too.
This way you can tap into each other, your hottest desires, and feel fully free having a one of a kind sex together.
Which brings me on to another point.
Eventually you want to let out your wildest fantasies, you don’t want to live a life where you have to repress all of your true desires.
And that can only be done by creating a space of no judgement about anything, using your words.
Follow the advice in this article, escalate it gradually, communicate, don’t judge, and you’ll be able to tell your partner even your deepest hidden fantasies, and play them out.
And you’ll find that once you get to this point, the more open you are the more open she will be too…
Introduce Profanity Gradually
Use it as a sentence enhancer to emphatically show how good something feels or to describe in detail what you’re doing.
Swearing can make the same sentence much more of a turn on.
- You’re so sexy!
- You’re so fucking sexy!
But it can be a double edged sword, people have different sensitivities to it.
And if you’re with someone who is not a huge fan, you may find that it actually starts working against you if you use it too often.
So begin using it at a lower frequency and gradually increase it over time, while observing your partners reaction.
In fact, it’s sometimes hotter to some girls to approach dirty talk in a manner unlike how you typically speak.
So if you feel like you normally don’t curse, it may be a great thing to throw some in.
Don’t Overthink It
Remember, you’re talking dirty to get pleasure as much as your partner.
So don’t beat yourself up trying to come up with the perfect things to say trying to please your partner.
Live the moment and enjoy each other, let yourself flow.
Just speak your mind.
If you’ve done it right, chances are your partner is too turned on to care and wants you both to have a good time.
How to Stop Yourself From Laughing During Dirty Talk?
When’s the last time you got hard at a comedy club?
I’m not saying it’s impossible to laugh while you’re completely turned on – but damn it probably takes a lot to make that happen.
You take pleasure seriously – yours and hers.
When you see (and feel) the reaction your thoughts and words get, being amused by it will be far from your mind.
It might feel goofy at first, but the easiest thing to take seriously is having her squirming by your words alone, much less the act itself.
Feel Uncomfortable with Verbal Dirty Talking? Start With This
If it’s your first time, chances are you’re probably not feeling as confident as you’re used to.
Here are some suggestions to keep you calm and in your best form.
Start With Texting
Be it a new relationship or old, dirty talk in person can be hard at first with any partner.
That’s why you can start it over text.
Texts are a great way to allow you to think and compose your words. It puts you less “on the spot” in person.
It’s the best way to allow each other to comfortable expressing yourselves this way.
I’ve written a detailed guide on how to start sexting, so if you’re new to this then I highly recommend you read that before you send your first text.
Phone Sex
After you learn what things to say: when you say it, and how to say it over text – you can jump a level up and go for phone sex.
Phone sex is quicker than just sexting.
This is where you both can get accustomed to saying all of your dirty thoughts out loud and listening to the reaction each gets.
You can both practice what things to say and flow naturally through the process over the phone.
And then anticipate taking that to the bedroom.
Here are some examples to get you started:
“Wish you were here 😉” (very subtle)
“I can’t stop thinking about last night” (very subtle)
“I miss being inside of you”
“Thinking about the way your tits looked in that dress you wore out to dinner still makes me hard”
“I can’t wait to feel you cum for me again”
“I want to taste you tonight”
A simple tried and true formula for any girl is this…
“I love [action] your [body part]”
Ease Into It
Start off slow and ease your way in.
Your confidence and control of the situation will help her feel confident in expressing her desires to you.
Women take more time to turn on than men, and there are reasons behind it.
To drive a woman’s attention completely towards sex, you must be compelling enough to shut down all other things she’s thinking about.
🎯 Men tend to be busy thinking just about a single thing and get triggered by what they see.
🔮 But women simply use their brain more. They need to think, feel, and know anything and everything to get to their climax.
So be patient, don’t put a lid on what you say, keep going for as long as you want and can, because your girlfriend will love it.
Here are some lines to get you going:
“I’ve been thinking about what you’re wearing all day.” (very subtle)
“Wait till I get home, I have so much I want to do to you.”
“I will fuck you so hard today you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
In the process, you can mention all your desires:
“I want my hands all over you.”
“I want to feel how wet you are for me.”
“I want to feel how good your lips feel around my cock”
Closing Thoughts
Talking dirty won’t be as daunting when you do it often. Be patient, keep an open mind, explore what she likes and what helps you.
It’ll single-handedly strengthen your relationship with your partner (or partners)… current and/or future.
As for the things you can say, a bit of research (which you’re already doing) and preparation never hurts.
Now that you know how to start, the rest will fall in place. (like her panties to the floor once she sees you have this skill 😉)
