In this article you will learn:
- The 5 crucial things you must understand before you even try to make a girl horny
- The two parts of a woman’s sexuality you must focus on (one can’t exist without the other)
- 7 exact ways you can show her how you’re thinking of her (which completely turns women on)
- The fool-proof way to “test the waters” when it comes to touching a girl to tell if she’s interested
- How doing this before you have sex will guarantee she’ll be a “satisfied customer” 100% of the time
- 18 specific things which will polarize women – they will turn some girls off but will make some insanely horny for you (and even they won’t know why)
- Plus your most burning bonus questions on how to make her horny answered (don’t leave without reading these)
I’m sure you’re ready to dive right in, but…
Before you learn how to make her horny, understand this...
Attraction isn’t a choice, at all. You can’t guilt-trip a woman into being attracted to you. Nor can she logic her way into it.
Want her to want to have sex with you? Two big tips:
- Be the type of man she wants to have sex with
- Create the type of situations that make her want to have sex with you.
But how?
The Dual Control Model breaks all this down. There are two parts:
- ✅ The Sexual Excitement System (SES) – This is everything you can imagine that turns her on, from seductive words, to expert touch.
- ❌ The Sexual Inhibition System (SIS) – This is the exact opposite, this is everything that turns her off, from bad breath, to bad sex.
We are going to go through both aspects of the model, to make sure you have the full picture, and become irresistible in the bedroom.
But…
…I want to put extra emphasis on the SIS. It’s the umbrella of all the reasons why her sex drive shuts down – and why she doesn’t want to have sex with you (right now).
It is just as, if not more important than the SES and it is far too often ignored.
It’s natural for you to want to learn all the tricks that will cause every woman to have a sexual attraction to you.
But this is very important:
- In order for a woman to be turned on her Excitement System must outweigh her Inhibition System.
- A woman’s Inhibition System is much more sensitive than her Excitement System, which means…
- You could be doing everything right on the Excitement side, but if her inhibitions outweigh it – she will not get turned on
It could be one little thing in her SIS that tips it off the scale. And this one thing will completely prevent her from wanting to have sex with you.
In each section, I’m going to give you examples of all of the things you should do, but I’ll also tell you tips on what NOT to do.
If you want to learn more about all of the Inhibition triggers, watch my video on the Unusual Ways To Turn A Woman On
🛑 Warning: Before you read this article there is something very important to understand.
There is a big difference between turning a woman on when you’ve never slept together, and turning a woman on that you’re already seeing or married to.
To prevent confusion simply follow these steps:
👫 If you are in a relationship…
Read the entire article
🕺 If you are single…
Read everything except:
- What Makes Her Horny? Let’s Start With You
- Communication and Talking Dirty
These two sections are only really applicable once you’ve started sleeping with/in a relationship with a woman.
Feel free to read them if you like, but just understand that.
What Makes Her Horny? Let’s Start With You
(for guys in a relationship only)
I’ll list out A-Z tips on how to make a girl horny. But a few words of warning:
- Use caution. Don’t try Z when you’re on step A.
- Use common sense
- Always keep consent in mind.
Thinking of Her First
Are you thoughtful?
What do I mean by this? Do you put her wants and needs first?
In hockey, you have to skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it is.
Translation: Figure out how to go out of your way to make her life a little easier.
- Fixing her a drink after a long day at work
- Doing that household chore that physically exhausts her
- Thanking her for something she did for you
- Running an errand for her she’s dreading
- Making a playlist of music you think she’d like
- Using a skill of yours to do something that would otherwise cost her financially
- Telling her you respect her/are proud of her for a recent accomplishment
- Etc…
I’m not saying you need to be Superman and do these all the time, all at once.
Think of those “old fashioned” gentleman things. They still matter to every girl. Stuff like opening doors for her, knowing how to slow dance, being able to cook. Believe it or not, these make a girl horny.
Why are these important to woman? Because every girl whether they admit it or not wants to feel loved, appreciated, and treated like a lady.
From a biological level, it shows you’re an A+ mating partner. You can step up to the plate. You can get shit done. You will have her back when the going gets tough.
If she doesn’t feel appreciated on some level she won’t get turned on. To make her yearn for it, you gotta earn it.
On the same lines of making her feel appreciated…
Complimenting her
Every girl wants to be told she’s pretty (from the right person).
This is something that can backfire so use it with precaution. Especially early on.
“Nice ass.”
Yea buddy, she knows that you think that. You and every other guy she can’t name who’s used that line.
Even if it’s something less sexual, it’s not how to make a girl horny.
Every woman knows if you’re not being sincere.
So, if there are so many “gotchas”, why am I even mentioning this dangerous double-edged sword
Because it’s such a common mistake and there’s a better way.
Compliment something that’s adjacent to her.
A few compliment-tips for any girl…
- Compliment something important to her
- Compliment something she does/did
- Compliment something she’s created
- Compliment her style
Of course though, when the time is right, more direct compliments are going to be appreciated because they’re coming from you.
Even on a first date, it’s totally acceptable.
In Match.com’s 8th annual (2018) Singles in America study, they found that a whopping 94% of women would want to be complimented by their date.
But how do you go from complimenting her to building sexual arousal?
How to Make a Girl Horny Mentally
There’s two parts of turning women on. The mental and the physical. They both are equally important. One cannot exist without the other.
Let’s name a few things that turn her on with the mental side of things.
Sexual Tension
What is “sexual tension” anyway? It’s when two people want it, they know they want it, but it hasn’t happened yet.
A woman will rock your world with what she’s willing to do in bed if you build up the sexual tension enough.
Building up sexual tension is like an airplane gaining speed to gain flight. The magic is in building speed over days and hours before you expect to have sex.
If you do this right, with genuine passion, and find the right situations for each suggestion…
…this is the slippery slope that leads right into how to make a girl horny.
Eye Contact
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. I think the window must be the bedroom window.
I can’t stress enough the importance of eye contact. Eyes are the clearest indicator from a woman that she shares the same desire.
And even though the 80s hit song is great, don’t go wearing sunglasses at night.
It doesn’t take a scientist to figure it out…but they did anyway; arousal is elicited by the sending and receiving of eye gaze information.
There are multiple meanings behind eye contact: Confidence, respect, love, lust.
If you have trouble maintaining eye contact in general, practice looking near a woman’s eyes to start with.
The best part…
…you can command a lot with just your eyes.
When done right, eye contact alone is enough to get her moist between the legs.
No, this doesn’t exactly mean staring her down like a gorilla. Especially if her eyes aren’t meeting yours.
And if you start having a conversation, even for the first time, you don’t have to 100% look into her eyes the entire time. That starts to give off some serious serial killer vibes.
It’s a fine line, but reading her reaction in her eyes and face is the best indicator.
Let her see that you have no problem maintaining eye contact with her. She will mentally put you in the “this man knows what he’s doing and how to get what he wants” bucket.
Think about the romantic moments in movies and on TV. They all have some variation of “the stare” between a man and a woman.
If this sounds primal, it’s because it is. It’s a part of her brain telling her body “Ding ding ding, we have a winner. This is the guy to have sex with!”
To make it easy:
- Look her directly in the eye when you’re talking to her
- Make sure your eyes are very relaxed while you do it
Remember:
- You want to be looking directly in her eye a lot more than you think (roughly 90% of the time)
- You just want to take natural breaks when it makes sense, for example when you’re thinking about something, or thinking about how to say something.
- Just know beforehand that it is going to feel uncomfortable for you. Just because it feels uncomfortable for you does not mean it feels uncomfortable for her. Just make sure you’re relaxing your face and eyes and you’re glancing away every now and then when it makes sense
Teasing and Innuendos
Probably not the kind of teasing you’re thinking of (that comes later.)
I’m talking about being playful with your words. Friendly sarcasm. It’s the art of riding the line between humor and confidence.
Humor is one of the greatest icebreakers. It dissolves tension.
For some women, this is a huge turn on. It shows you’re confident enough to crack jokes at yourself (and even her).
It’s most effective when paired immediately with a compliment or positive comment.
If this sounds confusing, here are 3 examples of how to tease a woman to turn her on:
- When she compliments you, tell her “Well thank you, I was wondering when you’d finally admit it.”
- If she’s wearing something sexy when you go out, tell her “You should have warned me you were going to look that gorgeous. I’m not sure I can concentrate on anything else.”
- When she says something trivial you just slightly disagree with, tell her “Well, despite our vast differences, I guess I still like you.”
There are a few things to watch out for before you go try these out:
- This kind of humor can be very confusing over text. Best to avoid it unless you accompany it with emojis (“Yea, I bet 😉😉😉”)
- In-person, make sure you say these kinds of lines with a huge grin and have a playful tone. Being serious while saying any of these will make you look like a moody weirdo
- Obviously, don’t crack a joke about something that’s traumatic. Or something that would bring up insecurities.
Or if you suspect she may not be into that style of humor. That’s just her personality. Some women are just different. Just do it less and less and judge her reactions.
If she does happen to like it and this is something you struggle with – don’t worry, it’s a skill.
A skill can be improved.
How?
- Take an improv class!
- Go where you’d normally meet women and just talk to more strangers (men and women!)
- If all else fails, have a drink and then do one of the previously two mentioned things!
Being able to build confidence to say anything off-the-cuff can pay off big time. In multiple paths of your life – including the path to make women horny 🙂
Communication and Talking Dirty
(for guys in a relationship only – If you are single either skip to the next section or watch the video below.)
Note: Use caution when doing this. This is really nuanced – and probably more often than not – only applicable if you’re already sleeping together.
Simply communicating with her shows her that you’re thinking of her.
This will make any woman feel she’s appreciated and that she’s special.
That alone can make a girl horny.
But go a step further and fire up her imagination. Say the thing over a text you perhaps wouldn’t fully describe out loud. Let her fill in the blanks with her mind.
Women love it when you can get her imagination going.
Be honest about the things you want to do with her. The different positions you want to use on her. Tell her little dirty details that cross your mind.
You’ll start to find that when you find the right flow with this, you’ll end up having more sex.
The more you make conversations about sex in this way the more sex you’ll end up having.
It starts to become a natural part of your life.
How to Make Make a Girl Horny, Physically
Now let’s dive into the different ways you can make a woman horny through physical contact..
What if it’s your first date? The Singles in America study gives us some valuable insights again.
As for appropriate physical contact, 82% of women were happy with being hugged, and 71% would expect a kiss on the cheek on the first date (at the end).
You may be thinking, “Oh wow Charles, how lucky am i? A kiss on the cheek…” 🙄
Let me put it this way: Guys are efficiency machines. They want to know the best way to do the job, with the most efficiency, in the least amount of time possible.
This isn’t how a woman works.
And I can guarantee if you work on perfecting these nuanced physical contact points – you’ll stand out in her mind amongst a sea of other guys she’s been with before.
Even to the point where she’s “forgetting” items at your place just to come back for another night.
What about if you just met this girl? Or what if you’ve known her but you’re just trying to get the message across more clearly?
If Love is a Battlefield, Attraction Signals are a Minefield
As men, we’re in a tricky situation, we must make moves, advances and take risks, when seducing a woman.
If we don’t we’re guaranteed to be relegated to the friendzone with little chance of escape.
However, if we do make moves and we go too far, failing to read her feedback, we risk really upsetting her and coming across as a creep.
It’s like we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Thankfully there’s an easy solution to this: Start with the least intimate of gestures and work your way up from there.
Let’s dive into what to do in each of those scenarios with women and the different ways to use touch to fire up her sexual arousal.
How to Get Women Horny with Touch
How can you tell if two people are in a relationship in public? Usually by the way they act (or more importantly) touch around each other.
Think if you never touched the girl you’re attracted to. It’d be very hard to interpret your intent.
You want to focus on this because it shows your attraction for her and decreases all doubt in her mind of your motive.
- Start out with one that is more innocent. A gesture that you may even do to a friend
- THEN work your way up the ladder of gestures with more sexual intent
Her shoulder
If a girl says something funny or teases you, feel free to put your hand on her shoulder.
Make sure to laugh/cheekily grin. You can even gently shake or push her as if you’re having to stop her from being so hilarious.
As time goes on – increase the length of time and the amount of times that you’re touching her.
So at first – maybe you just touch her when something funny happens. See how she reacts. If it’s not bad…3-10 minutes later try it again.
If she still reacts positively, the next time leave your hand on her shoulder for a few seconds. Maybe while you’re telling the punch line of a story.
Keep gradually progressing like that while you’re getting good responses.
Keep going until you’re sitting right next to her with your arm around her shoulder, face close to each other, gazing into each other’s eyes as you talk.
If at any point she seems uncomfortable or gives you a bad reaction, simply take a step back and ease off.
Her witnessing this will improve her comfort and trust around you. You can then try again – with a little bit less – in a few minutes.
Just never try to push it when she seems uncomfortable. You risk upsetting her. And you guarantee ruining your chances.
Her leg/thigh
This is almost identical to how you would approach touching her shoulder.
If you are sitting next to her, every now and then at a high point in a conversation (say you both laugh at a joke or something along those lines) you place your hand on her knee briefly.
If she doesn’t react badly, try it again a few minutes later.
If she keeps not reacting badly and seems totally comfortable then that is the green light to try to escalate it (just as described with the previous shoulder section above).
Increasing the amount of time you’re touching her leg and the frequency with which you do it. Then slowly working your way up her thigh until you’re stroking your hand up and down her thigh.
But just as with the shoulder, if at any point she reacts negatively, take a step back and ease off.
Try again a few minutes later. If she now gives a positive response – she’s more comfortable with you. If not, that’s fine, just back off again.
You have nothing to gain by trying to push it when she’s uncomfortable.
Her lower back
If you’re out in public, gently place your hand on her lower back to guide her.
If it’s hot outside, opt not to do this one. Everyone’s lower back can be a place where people accumulate sweat (which women are more likely to be self-conscious about)
This is one that can gradually turn into you putting your hand and/or your arm around her shoulder. When you’re sitting next to each other or even if standing and chatting.
Her scalp/hair
This has long been dubbed the “kiss test”. Brush her hair gently out of her face. If a woman doesn’t react in a negative way, then she’s more than likely attracted to you and even wants you to kiss her.
Other examples if you’re already more intimate with her:
- Playfully spank her when you’re being silly together
- Gently run your fingers through her hair and lightly caress her head
- Hug her from behind when she’s standing in front of you
Whether you just met or you’re in a long-term relationship. Touching is one of the most important ways to get on the same page with a woman in regards to your intent.
Make absolutely sure that you touch her at times OTHER than just when you want to have sex with her. Any girl will catch on and feel more like an object than someone who you actually desire and want to be around.
This is one of the factors of her SIS and is a big turnoff for women.
Foreplay = What Makes Women Horny
This deserves an article of its own, but we’ll briefly cover it here. It’s very important you never skip this step.
Back to our airplane analogy. Think of how a helicopter takes off versus an airplane.
A helicopter just lifts off and it’s up in the air flying.
Can an airplane get in the air immediately like a helicopter? No way.
An airplane needs a runway to gain speed. It needs enough speed to gain lift. Enough lift to gain flight.
It’s the same way with sex with a woman.
Just because you’re ready to dive right in doesn’t mean she is. A few ways to use foreplay to get any girl begging for you to have sex with her:
- Caressing her body/massage
- Deeply kissing her
- Using your hands and mouth on her breasts
- External clitoral stimulation with your hands
- Performing oral sex on her
100% FREE Bonus Resource: the six most popular videos from my sex instructional video collection (deemed “too extreme” for YouTube)
Foreplay isn’t just for the woman’s benefit either:
A) You won’t have to worry about lasting as long to make her orgasm.
Women have orgasms much more frequently from foreplay than they do from sex. That means she’s already a satisfied customer by the time you actually have sex.
Which means you can perform every..single…time….IF you focus on foreplay.
(Check out more info where I talk about how to last longer in bed)
B) A woman will be willing to do a lot more in bed for you.
If a woman knows you’re putting her satisfaction first, it’s almost guaranteed she will reciprocate this later down the road. Even things she’s never done before or that you thought she’d never be open to (anal, anyone?)
C) It’s simply a good first impression
If you want her to keep coming back for more, you can’t “promise to do better next time” and expect that excuse to work.
You’ve got to show her you already know how her body works – and that you know how to give her the best orgasm(s) she’s ever had.
Turning Her on With Consent
A word of warning: Before a woman ever says no, she will give you many non-verbal signals.
If she gets to the point where she says no, it can mean a few things:
- You were unable to read her subtle signals
- You could read them, but you didn’t care and tried to continue anyway
- You were moving so fast that she didn’t have a chance to drop a hint
Just because a woman may be into foreplay does not mean you should force her into sex.
This is such a fine line that has been muddled by media, news, and culture in general.
Don’t blow it and get upset. Or angry. Or get on the offensive. Just because she doesn’t want it now, doesn’t mean she’s not interested, she is most likely going to be entirely willing to the next time.
I mean, wake up! She’s a woman who’s engaging in foreplay with you,
A “no” in this situation almost always means, not right now, but likely a yes in the future.
If you keep your cool, and back off when she wants you to back off.
(Note: the longer you spend on foreplay the less likely this is to happen anyway.)
Plus, when you do this, and a woman sees you do this…
- She will appreciate it
- She’ll see that you’re caring
- She’ll see you’re experienced and competent
- She’ll see you’re not needy
- She’ll trust you and become more attracted to you
You take one step backwards to take two steps forwards.
And once she sees you do this, there’s a decent chance she might change her mind there and then (but don’t count on that.)
When in doubt, take a step back/stop what you’re doing. You protect her and you help yourself.
Making a Girl Horny with the Power of Polarization
Polarization in this context refers to certain things about you or behaviors that some women will LOVE while others will HATE.
You can use this to your advantage in a couple of ways:
- You can find out the most polarizing aspects of yourself. Instead of minimizing these you want to maximise them!
Yes, they will turn some women off, but things would have never worked out between you anyway, so you’re actually saving both of you time.
But the women who like them will LOVE you so much more because of them. - There are two different types of polarizing characteristics:
Those that are central to who you are, for example being passionate about a certain type of music, or your core values.
And those that you really don’t care about but might be important to your woman. E.g. certain types of cologne, or even how you talk in bed.
Of course you don’t want to change anything that is important to who you are. But if you really dig a girl and she hates your cologne and loves another, who cares? Do yourself a favour and swap it out.
Every woman has different tastes in guys, so it’s good to find out what’s polarizing for her.
Here are some more examples of ways you can use the Power of Polarization:
- Wearing a suit
- Having lots of body hair (or none)
- Being good with your dog/cat
- Being passionate about a hobby/skill
- Wearing tight pants/shirts
- Being good at dancing
- Having her sense of humor
- Reading a certain book (or displaying intelligence in general)
- When you kiss her a certain way
- Saying her name in bed
- Being good at your job/skill
- Having facial hair
- Getting a little jealous and protective of her
- Wearing a particular cologne
- Having piercings or tattoos
- Having long hair
- Listening to certain music
- Being good with kids
- Political beliefs
- Core values
I could name thing after thing. This list could keep going. I’m not saying having all of these traits will replace all the other steps. No way.
But these are things that are natural attractive qualities to some or all women.
A lot of these things come down to your personality and/or looks. It’s important to find out what her likes are so you can better hone into that Power of Polarization
You Can Make Her Horny, Now What?
The plane is about to lift off. Her desire is there and you know it’s going to happen.
But what if you mess up during sex? There are no second first-impressions in the bedroom.
So what exactly do women want in bed? It’s okay to not have all the right information right now, but you better have them before she wants to do it.
That’s why I made this – the six most popular videos from my sex instructional video collection (deemed “too extreme” for YouTube.)
Frequently Asked Questions About Making a Girl Horny
We took all the questions we could on how to make women horny and put the answers here in their own section.
So if we didn’t cover it, just ask us and we’ll anonymously add it into the article here.
How do I make my wife hornier?
The honeymoon phase doesn’t necessarily have to end. It’s understandable how the passion in a relationship can ebb and flow. Especially with the fast pace of today’s couple’s lifestyle.
Although relationships evolve and life’s obligations can be overwhelming – it is still a choice to not have a great sex life. Sound ridiculous?
Choosing what to focus on is a choice. You have to make a choice to make both of your sexual happiness a priority again.
Your first point of focus should be giving her sex so good she can’t see straight. When you start giving her sex so good she didn’t know it was possible, it becomes a lot easier to turn her on. And it’s not at all uncommon for her to start chasing you for sex at this point.
But there are other things that can inhibit her sex drive, even if you do all the other things right.
The biggest pitfall to avoid here when trying to make her horny is routine. You have to make that active effort to generate that spark of interest.
Do something for her she’d normally do that you don’t usually do. Or just surprise her with something nice.
- If it’s been a while since you’ve complimented her, compliment her
- If she normally cooks, cook a surprise dinner for her
- If you haven’t gotten her flowers or a gift lately, get her one
- Give her a random surprise hug
- Let her pick out a movie for you to watch together
These things will naturally lead to more intimacy and sex.
A lot of these things sound like the complete opposite of sex – but here’s the thing:
If you’re giving her world class sex and you feel like your sex life and/or relationship is still on the rocks, there’s something in her SIS that’s keeping her distanced from you.
Like we covered in the beginning of the article, take a good hard look at what may be inhibiting her sexual inhibition system(the SIS).
Here is a list of the most common triggers of the Sexual Inhibitory System:
- Shame/trauma
- Sleep
- Pain during sex
- Her feeling unappreciated
- Dirty living environment
- Menopause
- Kids
- Your hygiene
- Substances (SSRI, alcohol, other drugs)
- Stress (a big one)
If you’re giving her amazing sex and STILL getting no where the next step is to find out what is triggering her SIS and address those.
For a more in depth breakdown SIS’s and how I approach them, check out this video.
How to flirt with a girl?
A lot of men think there’s a little black book of texts that will have her begging for you to come over.
Flirting isn’t a few lines you say to a girl. Flirting is an attitude.
Let me elaborate.
No matter what you say via text to her, it’s how you come across that’s important.
Your relationship with her could easily fall into her “decision bucket” of being purely platonic.
It’s your job to create an interesting interaction that leaves her curious, excited, and even a little tense.
If it sounds difficult and nuanced, it’s because it is.
Here’s a few examples:
How to compliment her?
Don’t say
❌ “You are absolutely beautiful – can I please buy you a drink?”
Better
✅“You’re cute, you know – I want to take you out for a drink.”
Really good
🔥 “You know, you’re kinda cute – we should grab a drink this week and see if we like each other. Do you prefer coffee or wine?
The first one is just over the top and comes across as desperate.
The second one is good but it is direct. It doesn’t leave any room for ambiguity. She is very sure that you like her. This is not always wrong, but it is when used at the wrong time.
In the last one, you communicate that you’re interested, but that you have not made up your mind just yet (which should actually be true if you’ve just met a girl.)
You can use the second of the third one, it really depends on the situation.
- The second is better when it’s “on”. When she is clearly into you and there is no doubt.
- The third one is better in every other situation. If you are ever in any doubt go with something like the third.
Another example:
Don’t say
❌”You’re amazing”
Better
✅”You’re really cool. I’m enjoying spending time with you”
Really Good
🔥 “I’m pleasantly surprised, you’re a cool chica. We get along better than I thought we would.”
How to get her number?
Don’t say
❌“Can I have your phone number, please?”
Better
✅”I really enjoy talking to you. Stick your number in here (already have phone out) let’s grab a drink on Thursday”
Really Good
🔥 “I actually enjoy talking to you. Stick your number in here (already have phone out) let’s grab a drink on Thursday and see if we like each other sober (with a cheeky smile).”
Again, the first is too weak and desperate
The second is good, but very direct.
The third leaves some room for ambiguity.
You can use the second one when it’s “on” and the third when it’s not clear yet, or you’re unsure.
When you try out the Better and Really Good methods of flirting, it just feels more confident to you AND to her.
If a girl gets too validated and too sure that you like her, she’s bored. She knows the challenge is over.
Just like how a compliment amongst a sea of compliments doesn’t seem that special.
But if you can be a little bit unclear if you like her and every one in a while compliment her, she stays puzzled.
If she stays unsure whether or not you truly like her, whether she can truly claim you or not, she loves it.
Why is this the case? It’s fun for her. It’s a challenge. She has to apply herself rather than just rely on her looks that other guys typically just “fold into”.
Be warned though. This is a phase of flirting and if you keep this kind of communication up for too long it can appear as though it’s planned and you’re trying too hard.
When you see that she genuinely tells you a compliment it’s okay to reciprocate that if you feel the same. At that point go with the “Better.” option
