If you’ve found this article, then chances are that watching porn has begun to disrupt your life and negatively affect your mental well-being, interpersonal relationships, productivity, or sex life, probably all of the above. For some people, watching porn is a fun way to spice up their sex life, but it’s a crippling compulsion for others. With some exceptions, porn in and of itself isn’t right or wrong; it’s your relationship with porn and how it affects your life that determines whether or not it’s a problem.
For the purposes of this article, we are going to assume that viewing pornography has become a problem in your life, and we will go over why that might be the case.
In this article, you will learn:
- What is porn addiction?
- What causes addiction to porn?
- 11 signs or symptom of porn addiction
- And 12 steps to quitting porn so that you can reboot, rewire and restore your relationship with sexuality to a healthy place.
What Is Porn Addiction?
The term porn addiction is a little bit controversial and misleading. The compulsion to view pornography is not, at least for the time being, officially recognized as an addiction by the American Psychological Association. Perhaps this is in part due to conflicting studies on the subject, or it may be just a matter of semantics. The APA recognizes that many people do feel compelled to view pornography and that this negatively impacts their lives, but they prefer to label this affliction as a compulsion rather than an addiction.
That said, the term porn addiction is generally used to refer to the compulsion to view pornography when it’s having a negative impact on your life. If other areas of your life are suffering as a result of your porn viewing habits and you feel powerless to stop, then for all intents and purposes, this is what’s meant by pornography addiction. If you want to stop watching porn but have been unable to quit, then you are not alone. Every year, many men decide to give up porn, and in most cases, their lives change for the better as a result.
Before you can learn how to quit porn, you first need to understand what causes you to watch it in the first place. Many men watch porn without it ever negatively impacting their lives, so what causes some men to develop an addiction to it? By looking at the root cause of the problem, you’ll be able to find out how to address the issue; then, we can look at the steps you can take to break the chains of porn addiction once and for all.
What Are the Causes of Porn Addiction?
Porn addiction is a relatively new phenomenon; as a species, we’ve only had access to pornography for a couple hundred years since the invention of the printing press; and it’s only been about 30 years or so that we’ve internet porn. So, for most of human history, there was no porn to be addicted to; now that there is a seemingly infinite amount of pornography available online, it only makes sense that some people would develop an unhealthy relationship with sex and intimacy. But why is that? Why is watching porn harmful to some and not others?
The truth is we still don’t know much about pornography addiction. The research has only just begun, but preliminary findings seem to point to a few potential factors that may play a role in determining what causes porn viewing to become problematic; they are as follows:
- Pre-existing mental health conditions
- An unhealthy relationship with sex
- Viewing pornographic sites at a young age
- Relationship problems
- Biological factors
- Loneliness
It may well be the case that in the future, we will know more about the causes of porn addiction, but for the time being, we can only suggest that the above-mentioned factors appear to play some role. However, for something that isn’t even officially recognized as a disorder, we sure know a lot about the symptoms of porn addiction; there is much less debate about that.
11 Signs of Porn Addiction
Being addicted to viewing porn is associated with a number of well-known symptoms which many men have reported experiencing. Now everybody is different and has a unique psychological and genetic makeup, along with a unique relationship with sex and intimacy, and so not all men will experience all of the same negative effects from pornography addiction. That said, there are some symptoms that are very common.
Let’s briefly look at each of the most frequently reported symptoms so that you can determine whether or not you do, in fact, have an “addiction,” and then we will go over how to break that addiction so you can quit porn.
1. You Want to Stop but You Can’t
First and foremost, the number one indicator that you may be addicted to porn is that you want to stop watching it in the first place. If you have ever thought about quitting porn, then chances are that it’s because you’ve recognized that it’s playing an unhealthy role in your life. If you want to quit, and you’ve tried to quit, but you can’t, then that’s a great indication that you may have a porn addiction.
2. Neglecting Other Responsibilities to Watch Porn
People who identify as having an addiction to pornography generally notice themselves neglecting their other duties and responsibilities. They may see a noticeable decrease in their productivity at work or even start showing up to work late or not at all. There may also be an obvious decline in the quality of their work or schoolwork. Other commitments, such as personal obligations or relationship duties, may also be neglected.
3. Spending Money You Can’t Afford on Porn
Another good indication that you may have an unhealthy addiction to porn is if you notice that you’ve been spending an excessive amount of money on internet porn. Those who identify as having a problem with porn often report spending money they need for other things such as their rent, bills, groceries, medicine, or other necessities on porn instead, which can have devastating effects across all areas of their lives.
4. Watching Increasingly Violent or Disturbing Porn
One of the sure-fire signs that your relationship with adult content is becoming unhealthy is when you notice that you’ve been seeking after increasingly violent, disturbing, or bizarre pornography. At first, it may have been enjoyable to simply look at nudity, but with time that leads into watching sex acts, and with more time, those sex acts may become more hardcore in nature; before you know it, you may be watching material that is disturbing even to yourself which leads us to the next symptom.
5. Feeling Guilty, Ashamed, or Inadequate After Viewing Porn
Porn is intended to make you feel good, and when viewed with a healthy attitude, this may actually be how it does make you feel. However, if you have been watching content that you really aren’t OK with, you may notice that you’ve been feeling guilty, ashamed, or otherwise bad afterward. These feelings can lead to anxiety, self-loathing, negative body image, poor self-esteem, and a whole host of other distressing mental health conditions.
6. Engaging in Risky Behavior to Watch Porn
As the addiction takes hold, you may find yourself engaging in more risky behavior when viewing porn. For example, you may begin watching videos in your workplace, or if you are at home, you may start leaving the door open as there is a risk that you will be discovered. When you notice that the act of viewing adult content is starting to become public rather than private, chances are you are dealing with an unhealthy addiction.
7. Experiencing Relationship Problems
One of the most frequently reported side effects associated with an unhealthy compulsion to view pornography is that the quality of the personal relationships in your life are diminished. If you have been having troubles at home with your wife or girlfriend, then disassociating with your partner and escaping to the fantasy world of pornography will only make matters worse, and porn addiction has certainly lead to the dissolution of many relationships including marriages.
8. Decreased Satisfaction from Having Sex
One of the main symptoms of porn addiction is that people going through it almost always report having decreased satisfaction when having actual sex with a partner. This may be because the sex seems boring in comparison to the content they’ve been consuming online, or it may be the result of building up an unrealistic idea about what sex should be. Either way, if you notice you’re no longer enjoying the sex you’re having, and you suspect it’s due to your consumption of pornography, then chances are you’re right.
9. Diminished Sex Drive and Libido
Not only can the compulsion to view porn decrease the amount of satisfaction you get from porn, but it can also diminish your desire to have sexual intercourse entirely. Over-exposure to sex and nudity can cause you to become bored with normal vanilla sex, leading to a greatly reduced libido and low overall sex drive, which can drive a wedge between you and your partner, leading to even more problems.
10. Stress, Anxiety, and Depression
Ultimately, porn addiction is a mental health issue, and as is often the case, mental health issues often involve stress, anxiety, and even depression; porn addiction is no exception. If you notice that you’ve been feeling on-edge, irritable, or sad frequently after watching adult content, then it’s most likely the case that you’re dealing with an unhealthy relationship with sexuality and porn.
11. Erectile Dysfunction
One of the scary symptoms of an addiction to porn is erectile dysfunction or ED. Erectile dysfunction is when you can no longer get an erection or cannot keep an erection if you do get one. This can have a devastating effect on your morale, self-esteem, and obviously, your sexual performance. There are many things that can cause ED, and in most cases, the condition can be treated, but if you’re experiencing problems getting or maintaining an erection, it may be due to a porn addiction; in which case you should seek the advice of a medical professional to review your treatment options. I cover ED, it’s causes and solutions in much more detail in this article, quitting porn is just step one, but it will go a long way to helping you.
12 Steps to Quit Porn
The list of symptoms is long and dreadful. The good news is that there are many things you can do to help break free from the clutches of porn addiction and quit watching porn. The fact that you are reading this means that you have already made the first step towards giving up your porn habit. Let’s look at some other known methods for giving up internet porn.
1. Make the Decision to Quit Porn
Many men notice that pornography is harming their lives; they may even notice that they have been neglecting their loved ones, jobs, and other commitments, but they are either unable or unwilling to acknowledge the problem and are content to pretend that they have it under control. They do not.
The process of giving up porn begins with admitting that it is a problem and then making the decision to quit porn. Quitting porn isn’t easy; it’s similar to giving up other bad habits such as smoking, drug use, or alcohol, but the only way to live life to the fullest is by making informed choices and committing to self-improvement – You can do it.
2. Write Down the Pros and Cons of Watching Porn
One great exercise is to write down the pros and cons of viewing pornography. In almost all cases, the list of pros will be minimal, while the list of cons will be lengthy. By actually being able to visualize how your life would be better by kicking the habit, you will be encouraged to change your porn viewing habits and change your life as a result.
3. Delete All of Your Pornography
Now it should go without saying that if you want to quit porn, you need to delete any existing pornography that you have stored on your devices or otherwise have access to. You need to remove the triggers that cause you to view porn, and it will be hard to break the habit if there’s a folder with 10,000 files named porn on your desktop. At first, you may have a hard time deleting it; you may even feel like you are losing something you love like you are ending a relationship; indeed, you are — a negative relationship that has been hurting you, your life, and your loved ones.
4. Hold Yourself Accountable
The next step is to hold yourself accountable. If you know that you can always just go back to porn and then try to quit again tomorrow, you will never break the cycle. You need to make the problem public, at least with one other person that you trust. Open up about the issue; it’s not something to be embarrassed about. Tell somebody you trust what you’re going through and ask them to help keep you accountable.
Having an accountability partner is one of the best ways to kick the habit; just make sure it’s somebody who you can trust and who has your best interests at heart. There are also various accountability software programs online, so if you don’t have somebody you can trust with the task, then you can still hold yourself accountable online.
5. Activate Your Browsers Parental Controls
One of the easiest steps to take when deciding to give up porn is to activate your browser’s parental control feature. Almost all modern browsers, including Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, Firefox, Safari, and Opera, have a parental control feature that will limit your search results and attempt to prevent any porn sites from showing up. This is a great first step, but the features can be easily disabled, which means that enabling parental controls by itself is unlikely to be enough.
6. Install Porn Blockers on Your Devices
A big step up from the parental controls built into your browser, porn blocking software is much better at blocking internet pornography and can be set up in such a way that it’s a hassle to disconnect, which can help you have more self-control and get through your cravings and compulsions successfully.
There are a variety of different options available on the internet, including apps and desktop software for your computer. Look around and find a solution that fits your budget. Keep in mind that different programs will have different features, so choose one that has what you’re looking for. One example would be Qustodio.
7. Commit to a New Hobby
If you have a porn habit, then chances are that you’ve been spending a lot of your time-consuming adult content and masturbating. If you had spent that time doing something else, then odds are that you would be a pro at it by now. So, pick a hobby that you would like to get better at.
Maybe it’s playing an instrument or learning another language; whatever it happens to be, when you notice the urge to watch porn, stop yourself and instead spend some time practicing your new hobby. Before long, you will start to notice real progress, and you’ll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment, which are much better feelings than guilt and shame.
8. Refrain From Masturbating
Whenever you get the urge to masturbate, you probably turn to porn automatically. If this is the case, then make a concerted effort to stop masturbating at least for a little while; when you do get the urge, then do something else instead, or if you absolutely need to masturbate, then commit to using only your imagination. After some time, you may not feel the urge to watch porn at all, which can lead to an improved sense of sensuality when you do engage in having sex.
9. Speak With Others Who Have Quit Porn
Trying to break an addiction is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in life, and it’s almost impossible to break any habit on your own. This is why Alcoholic Anonymous, like other such support organizations, always function within a group environment. Being able to speak with other people who are going through the same thing can be invaluable, and listening to those who have already kicked the addiction can inspire you to maintain your resolve and go the distance. Reddit’s nofap subreddit is a great community to join to not only keep yourself accountable, but also connect with others who have quit porn.
10. Spend More Time Exercising
Regular exercise and other healthy habits, such as eating a nutritious diet rather than junk food, play an important role in how we feel throughout the day. If you have noticed that stress, social anxiety, and other such issues trigger you to view pornography, try to spend more time working out.
Go outside and get some fresh air, do something that will help boost your mood and give you a natural dopamine release; this can help reduce the number of triggers you encounter throughout the day and can even boost your confidence, morale, and self-esteem.
11. Interact with Women in Person
One of the most serious side effects of the porn industry is that it can lead some men to view women as objects rather than real human beings. Remember, the girls you see acting out sexual fantasies in those videos are real people; they have parents, children, friends, people they love, and people who love them.
When you start interacting more with the real women in your life, you will begin to see the vast majority of women working in the adult entertainment industry in a different light, which can make a transformative difference in your battle against this bad habit.
12. Go For Counseling
Finally, there are certain instances when nothing seems to work. You’ve tried all of the things above but still aren’t able to quit watching porn. In these cases, it’s important that you speak to a licensed medical professional who can diagnose the problem and recommend an appropriate course of treatment.
In many cases, if you openly talk about your porn-related problems in counseling or sex therapy, you can resolve the issue, but a medical initiative may be necessary to intervene and help treat the problem in other cases.
Final Thoughts
If pornography has become a problem in your life, then congratulations on recognizing that. By acknowledging the problem, you can take the necessary steps to break the habit and restore your life to the way you want it to be. When you quit watching pornography, you may notice that you feel better about yourself, your partner, and your life in general. It won’t be easy, but on any given day, many men successfully quit porn, and with some hard work, focus, and willpower, you can absolutely be one of them.
In addition to having a renewed appreciation for sex and a restored image of women, you’ll find that your personal and sexual relationships improve significantly, but it’s just the first step. For more tips on improving your sex life, enter your email below to get 6 of my most popular videos on becoming the best she’s ever had.
