This is the ultimate guide to small penis sex in 2021.
In this comprehensive guide I’ll cover:
Let’s get into it.
What is Considered a Small Penis?
Let’s just get this out the way first – what is actually considered a ‘small’ dick?
In my experience, there are a LOT of guys who are unnecessarily worrying and it is not until they actually see the statistics around average penis length they realise they have been stressing about nothing!
Here’s the actual information from a peer-reviewed journal.
In 2015, a systematic review of penis size in the British Journal of Urology, pulled the data from over 15,000 men (whose dicks were measured by healthcare professionals rather than via self measurement, where, as you would expect, the data hasn’t exactly been accurate).
They found these to be the average length of a penis:
- The average flaccid human penis is 3.6 inches (9.1 cm) long
- The average erect human penis is 5.2 inches (13.1cm) long
And though we are bombarded with images of pornstars with 9 inch anacondas, the reality is, it’s a selection bias – every one of those guys has been chosen exactly because of the size of their schlong.
Remember this:
- 85% of men fall within the 4-6 inch range when erect.
And also, incase you’re interested because I get a lot of people asking how many guys have 7 inches, the answer to that is only 2%.
In reality, only 2.28% of the male population have an abnormally small penis, said the study – and the same percentage an unusually large one.
Note this; a 6.3 inch (16cm) erect penis falls into the 95th percentile, so out of 100 men, only five would have a penis larger than 6.3 inches.
Conversely, an erect penis measuring 3.94 inches (10 cm) falls into the 5th percentile, meaning only five out of 100 men would have a penis smaller than 3.9 inches.
How Small is Too Small?
Does size matter? The age old question which comes up so often, we know *exactly* what is meant when it is asked.
Though we are regularly flooded with media/jokes that women love huge cocks, it’s actually not 100% true. In fact, a study in 2015 showed that women prefer penises that are only slightly larger than average in long term partners (6.3 inches, to be precise).
An American Psychological Association study performed in 2006 found that whilst 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penis, only 55% of men were satisfied with their penis.
What does this mean? Our own insecurities and lack of confidence are the root of the problems, not our penis size.
Have you ever known of a therapist being inundated with women concerned about the size of their partner’s penis?
Steamy novels, a genre that a lot of people consider women’s equivalent to pornography, do not talk about size of the penis in their sex scenes, in fact there is very rarely a description of the penis at all.
Don’t believe me? Here’s an excerpt from one of many sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey:
“Ah!” I cry out, grinding down on him, and his breath hisses through his teeth. His arm snakes around me up to my neck and he grasps me under my chin. His hand spreads across my neck, pulling me back and tilting my head to one side so he can kiss my throat. His other hand grips my hip and together we start to move.
“I push up with my feet, and he tilts himself into me—in and out. The sensation is…I groan loudly. It’s so deep this way. My left hand curls around the hand brake, my right hand braced against the door. His teeth graze my earlobe and he tugs—it’s almost painful. He bucks again and again into me. I rise and fall, and as we establish a rhythm, he moves his hand around beneath my skirt to the apex of my thighs, and his fingers gently tease my clitoris through the sheer finery of my panties.”
The 65 million women who have read Fifty Shades of Gray have never found out what Christian Gray is packing, and more importantly, don’t want to.
Ask most people about their best sex ever and how often do you ever hear size mentioned? I would take a guess that it is close to never.
Let’s be real: big dicks are a male obsession, not a female obsession.
And if you don’t want to take it from me, get this in your head from sex and relationship therapist Sue McGarvie:
“I am constantly seeing men who are worried about their virility. Much of it has to do with the size, shape, and function of their penises. It is really surprising to most women how concerned men are about their equipment.
“Women really don’t get it. We think penises are mysterious and cool. We know that for the most part our sexual satisfaction has to do with how great you are with your hands and your mouth as well, not just penis your size or how long you can bang us for.
“Yes, women like intercourse, but a majority of women get their most powerful orgasms by outercourse. Only 30% of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone, regardless of the size of a man’s penis.”
Look, all of this is not to say there are not women out there that care about penis size, but I’m saying for most women it’s way down the priority list.
Now, with the metrics out the way, let’s get on to the good stuff. I’m here to teach you to be the best lover she has ever had, whether you have a 1 inch penis, or 8.
So without further ado, let’s get into some sex positions that are particularly effective if you have a small penis – note that these are for guys that fall down to the 3 inch range.
Anything smaller than that (essentially, a micropenis), you might need to try some things slightly different, check out our oral section and what to do if you have a small penis further down in this guide.
The Best Small Penis Sex Positions
The Baker's Dozen
Also known as missionary with cushions, this is as it sounds; take your regular missionary position – the woman lying on her back, you on top of her facing her and entering her, but add a cushion or two underneath her bum.
This will angle her ever so slightly, allowing you to go deeper than in regular missionary.
The Rowing Boat
Get your partner on her back, you on your knees between her legs, and lift her legs up either over or your shoulder or on your chest.
You can also experiment with putting her legs together and putting them over your shoulder, giving her a fuller feeling whilst also giving you a tighter sensation.
The Amazonian
Also known as her on top. Again, it is as it sounds – you’re on your back and she is straggling you; you can either have her bounce on you, or have her grind on you.
If she’s going to bounce, ensure her feet are on the ground or a solid surface – mattresses won’t provide as strong of a resistance for her to power herself off of.
Alternatively, you can sit on a chair, her straddling you with her feet propped up either side, maybe holding the back of the chair. With her feet planted, the angle of her legs allows for extra depth.
If she isn’t going to bounce and instead wants to grind, let her – she will stimulate her clit whilst grinding on top of you and generally get even more aroused. However, be warned, generally it’s not as good for the man.
Letting her grind on you is a good trick if you need a little break because you are close to coming – stick her on top and get her to activate the grinder!
The Great Dane
Also known as the adjusted doggy position. Get her in the normal doggy position, but you want to get her to focus on arching her back whilst keeping her upper body as low as possible to the bed.
You want her back super arched, the more she can arch her back the deeper you are going to be able to get, and you want her shoulders down on the bed, her ass in the air and her back arched inwards.
The Sleeping Sally
Also known as the adjusted prone, you need to get her in the prone position and put a pillow under her hips to adjust her angle so you can hit the right spots.
Now, unlike usual where your legs would be on the inside between her legs, you are going to switch it so that her legs are closer together on the inside, with your legs on the outside.
Again, this gives her the fuller feeling, whilst giving you a tighter feeling.
One potential issue with The Sleeping Sally is her butt getting in the way of your pelvis, preventing you to get as deep as you (and she) would like. So you need to ensure you pull her butt cheeks apart, of even better, get her to spread them herself, allowing you to have the deep connection you are after.
The Back Pipes
AKA anal sex. It goes without saying that a woman will be a lot more willing to attempt anal with a guy who is slightly smaller.
An Anal orgasm is one of the most powerful orgasms you can give a woman; but be warned if you do it wrong, you might never get another chance.
A women’s anus is naturally tighter than her vagina, but also can be incredibly sensitive – it requires a lot of warm up, communication, and lube. Using varying butt plugs is a nice way to prepare.
For more info on anal check out donofdesire.com/bdb where I provide a step by step guide where it gets to the point a woman will be asking YOU to put it in her arse.
Oral Sex & Erogenous Activity for Small Penis
In amongst all of this, there is one stat you really should remember; only 25% of women can consistently orgasm through vaginal intercourse (that is of course, without my advice!).
That means, for 75% of women your penis barely even registers as a blip on the radar when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
Time to get good with your hands and mouth, and in some cases, neither.
I know it sounds like hyperbole, but I have literally had emails from guys who have followed my Dirty Talk Mastery Course who were able to give orgasms without even touching them!
Do you think a woman really gives a fuck about the size of your penis if you can give her a hands free orgasm? Of course not.
An erogenous zone is an area of the body that has heightened sensitivity, which, when stimulated, may end up resulting in a sexual response.
Erogenous zones are literally all over the body, with varying sensitivity, all depending on the concentration of nerve endings on that particular person.
On different people, gentle touching everywhere from their eyelids, eyebrows, temples, shoulders, hands, arms to their hair can lead to sexual arousal – it is on you to find out what it is that sends your partner crazy.
Openness and communication with your partner are all key when it comes to finding out what gets her off.
Saying all this, the most obvious erogenous zone is between the woman’s legs, and one of the best ways to stimulate it, is with your tongue.
Oral sex is something that should be mastered by every single guy, everywhere, regardless of their size. Your main focus should be their clit, and the best way to stimulus their clitoris is through oral sex.
My five key points for mind blowing oral sex are as follows:
- Step 1: Ignore the vagina. Yes, you heard that right. Women are not like men – they need build up, anticipation, teasing. To begin with, focus on everything else (not just her tits!) before going near her vagina.
- Step 2: Ignore the clit. Like with point 1, don’t go straight for the clit. Build up to it. When you’ve got to her vagina, start at the bottom, and around, working your way towards the best part…go slow. The longer you take the better.
- Step 3: Clit city! Finally, give her her first lick. Long, slow and soft. Vary it, change the speed, change the pressure, but as she gets closer, you should have figured out what she likes, and continue with that rhythm until she comes.
- Step 4: Add the digits. Now is time to add your fingers into the mix (see below for more details about that).
Check out this guide to pussy licking.
When it comes to fingering a girl, I am currently working on a complete written guide, but for some quick pointers:
- For goodness sake, make sure you clean and groom your nails – anything that is going inside another human being, should be treated as such!
- Don’t go straight for the pussy. Take your time – it should take you absolute minimum 20 minutes from the moment you first kiss her, to getting her undressed, to caressing her, before your fingers start going down there. Women are not like men, they need time – if, of course, you want to maximise her pleasure.
- Focus on the clitoris. Let me say it again for all the guys at the back – focus on the clitoris!
- The clitoris is very, very sensitive. And different girls like it to be touched in different ways – you are going to have to experiment – gently – and see how she reacts.
- The moment you see signs of pleasure, keep doing that!
- After pleasuring her through her clitoris, look for the g-spot – palm facing up, two knuckles deep on the roof of her vagina, and it feels a little rougher than the rest. Once you’ve found it, try doing a come here motion with your finger.
- Start experimenting with a second finger, different speeds and communicate throughout to find out what she likes.
- Once you’ve got that down, add in the tongue and do both fingers and mouth at the same time to send her wild!
Check out this guide on satisfying your partner with your fingers.
What to Do if Your Boyfriend Has a Small Penis
Aside from the obvious (do not ask, “is it in yet?” FFS), there are a few things a woman can do if their boyfriend is less endowed:
- Don’t make jokes about it: There are very few things I would say are completely off the table when it comes to jokes, but any type of sarcastic or joke comments are completely off limits. Your fella is going to be feeling bad enough about it as it is, do not stoke the fire!
- Don’t lie or fake it: Lying or acting like your partner has a big penis, when you both know he doesn’t will cause more harm than good. On the same basis, faking an orgasm is not a solution – sex is meant to be pleasurable for both of you, communicate openly about what works for you and what doesn’t.
- Kegel exercises: Kegel exercises help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles; in layman’s terms, they are what you contract when trying to stop yourself from peeing. These will strength the support system around your vagina, so you can tighten them when you are having sex and feel him inside you all the better.
What to Do if You Have a Small Penis
If I haven’t reiterated this enough at the start of this article, do your best to not care. Here are some words of wisdom:
- Own it: If you’ve got a small dick, own that shit. Be confident, even if you fake it until you make it; check out some confidence-building techniques.
- Do not draw attention to it: If it’s your first time with a woman, don’t warn her beforehand. It screams of insecurity. Don’t ask her if she thinks it’s small, trying to smoke on that validation crackpipe – try to be free of needing constant reassurance about it, and certainly do not complain about it all the time; after all, there is literally nothing you can do about it.
- Quit porn: Though the actual scientific data on the potential negative effects of pornography is inconclusive, anecdotally I can tell you from both personal experience and through thousands of men emailing me – you need to cut that shit out.What do you think is going to happen if you are bombarded with images of monster cocks all day? If you want to feel better about your dick, quit the porn, seriously.
- Don’t compare yourself to others: It is perhaps a natural human behaviour to want to compare yourself to others, but try not to. Not only should you be focusing on solely yourself, but studies have shown, when it comes to penis size, men overestimate the size of other guys dicks compared to their own. Comparison is futile, and likelihood is, you’re wrong.
- Improve hip flexibility: This will allow for deeper penetration allowing you to perfect your thrusting technique, whilst also being able to get in at other angles with less discomfort.
- Work out:You know one thing that does effect your attractiveness to women, that has come out in multiple studies? Having a big shoulder to hip ratio; essentially, being in shape and muscular. This is something that is 100% in your control and not only will make your partner find you more attractive but also no doubt give you more confidence! Lift weights, and eat right.
Over to You
You ever heard that old adage, willing is not enough, we must do, knowledge is not enough we must apply?
Thousands of people are going to read this article, but the only ones who are going to benefit from it are those who actually take action with the information.
How are you going to be one of the ones who benefits from it?
I challenge you to go and implement some of the information in here, and then come back and let me know how you got on in the comments.
Let’s not make the size of your penis an issue anymore!
