How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

We’ve all been there.

It’s your first time together. And you’ve romanced her, teased her, excited her and now she’s ready. 

She’s almost dripping and is on the verge of begging you to fuck her. 

The lighting is damn near perfect. You look like a god. 

She’s already scripted what she wants to tell her friends about the night and you’re both ready. Michael Bay couldn’t write a more epic moment. 

You get into it, you thrust, she’s melting. 

She’s so close. She grips you tighter, pulls you closer and whispers in your ear “I’m so fucking close…”

And then… 💣

Sometimes, the early bird doesn’t get the worm

Fuck. It’s over. 

You’re angry, confused and blubbering. She looks at you with boredom or anger or worse, pity. 

No one’s happy. 

We’ve all been there at least once – if anyone tells you they haven’t, they’re lying. 

Sometimes, the early bird doesn’t get the worm.

What You’ll Learn About Lasting Longer

In this article, you will learn:

  • Exactly what ‘too early’ means
  • The potential reasons for premature ejaculation
  • The effects not lasting longer in bed can have on your sex life
  • Nailing foreplay to make sure you blow her mind – regardless of when you blow your load
  • 5 proven methods to last longer in bed 
  • Techniques to overcome premature ejaculation 
  • How to handle a spoiled moment (until you gain stamina from these tricks)
  • Extra steps on how to be the best she’s ever had

No matter if it’s your first or fifth or fiftieth time with someone, timing matters. To her, to you, to your reputation. 

When you search: ‘How to last longer in bed’, it conjures up all sorts of videos, articles, advice and let’s face it, trash. 

You’ll get magical creams and serums thrown at you. 

You’ll open a weird pandora’s box of information. 

But it’s a lot simpler than that and you have a lot more control over how long you last in bed than you may realize. 

Sure, there might be physical reasons and you might genuinely suffer Premature Ejaculation but in this article, you will see that you’re not alone and that there are plenty of ways to last longer in bed.

Don’t look into drugs or appointments with sex therapists yet.

Read on to find out how to keep your partner satisfied throughout your training and you will learn exactly how to last longer in bed.

Let’s dive in, head first (yes, pun intended)

‘Ejaculatio praecox’ – a word that shouldn’t be harder than you are, for longer. 

This was the first phrase used to describe premature ejaculation – many, many moons ago. 

It’s not a new condition. It’s been plaguing men for centuries. Or should we say, seconds?💧

First, there are questions to ask yourself: 

  1. Are you sure you need/want to last longer during sex? 
    a. Have previous partners said so? Or your current partner?
    b.
    Are you unsatisfied with your time? 
    c. Is your view on time spent having sex realistic? 
  2. Why do you want to last longer in bed? 
  3. What is your definition of ‘long’ and why is that it?

Officially Premature Ejaculation is defined as finishing most of the time within one minute, often due to performance anxiety, and having it result in personal distress.

So don’t just call it Premature Ejaculation, because it might not be true. 

You want to not worry if you last as long as the other guy. He should worry about not lasting as long as you do. Maybe your current time to ejaculation is average, or better than average but you want EVEN BETTER. You want stamina. 

An overachiever. We like it. She likes it. 

What you need to know:

  • The numbers of men who struggle with this varies – because not many people are honest about it, to themselves or doctors. 
  • 3-4 out of 10 men have had issues with this (the other 6-7 are probably lying)
  • It is the most common issue in bed for men.
  • Technically, 3 to 7 minutes of penetration before ejaculating is ‘fine’ while 7 to 13 minutes is ‘desirable’. But what we’re going for is being able to control that completely. Whether what you want is 3 or 30 minutes, it has to be up to you. And it can be.
  • Even though you’re more likely to ejaculate with a new partner, once you know how to gain control, you can do it with a new or frequent partner

Why Last Longer in Bed

One of the biggest differences between men and women is that often when a man ejaculates, he’s done. 

When a woman comes, she’s just getting started. 

Their orgasms are more intense – biologically, psychologically, and deservedly. They have multiple orgasms, combined orgasms and in between orgasms. Women have their own orgasm woes. Some struggle to orgasm at all and some can have multiple orgasms. Some experience both.

How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

If you can last long enough to penetrate, then play then change positions, then penetrate again and make her come again and again AND AGAIN, and only then do you ejaculate let’s just say you’re doing the world a favor. 

You also don’t want to become that guy. The guy who shows up on time but leaves before the party has started. It leaves her with a bad taste and you with feelings of shame and probably anger. 

If it’s a one-night stand, it becomes the world’s problem as you become the topic of WhatsApp chats for days to come. 

Not lasting longer in bed is often shrouded in shame, guilt and really lame jokes. Weird, huh?

If it’s your partner, you will probably lose closeness and intimacy because of it. It’s difficult to speak about because people don’t speak about it, people aren’t honest with themselves or their partners and we aren’t really taught to navigate this topic. 

When you speak to people about how to last longer in bed, they either don’t know how to have the conversation or they’re likely to lie about it. 

That is not necessary. You’ve got this. You’ve got me. You’ve got this guide. Let’s do this!

If Your Foreplay Is Good Enough You Can Get A Woman Addicted To You Without Lasting Long At All

The thing is – with foreplay alone- you could even blow her mind and leave her satisfied before the sex has even begun, and this is likely to take pressure off you, lowering your sexual performance anxiety.

Studies suggest only 25% of women orgasm consistently through vaginal stimulation alone. 

But when it comes to direct clitoral stimulation, say through fingering, oral sex, or with toys, you can get that up to 80-90% of women orgasming almost every single time.

Essentially, you can leave your woman satisfied with just your mouth, fingers and if you both feel like it, toys.

How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

This is important to consider. Especially when you want to last longer in bed.

If you want to know how to master foreplay then check out my collection of 6 free videos BANNED from YouTube covering all the fundamentals that you need to blow your woman’s mind.

If you can last long enough to penetrate, then play then change positions, then penetrate again and make her come again and again AND AGAIN, and only then do you ejaculate let’s just say you’re doing the world a favor.

You also don’t want to become that guy. The guy who shows up on time but leaves before the party has started. It leaves her with a bad taste and you with feelings of shame and probably anger.

If it’s a one-night stand, it becomes the world’s problem as you become the topic of WhatsApp chats for days to come.

Not lasting longer in bed is often shrouded in shame, guilt and really lame jokes. Weird, huh?

If it’s your partner, you will probably lose closeness and intimacy because of it. It’s difficult to speak about because people don’t speak about it, people aren’t honest with themselves or their partners and we aren’t really taught to navigate this topic.

When you speak to people about how to last longer in bed, they either don’t know how to have the conversation or they’re likely to lie about it.

That is not necessary. You’ve got this. You’ve got me. You’ve got this guide. 

Let’s do this!

Not lasting long as you'd like? 5 Reasons You Probably Haven't Thought Of:

Most often, the reason is psychological.

Psychological reasons you’re not lasting long in bed

  • Relationship issues 
  • Performance concerns (you’re in your head)
  • Other stresses (family, work, traumas)
  • Guilt 
  • No confidence 
  • Unrealistic expectations on yourself 
  • You’ve taught yourself to race. Because usually, when masturbating, the quicker, the better.
The biggest sex organ is the brain

The biggest sex organ is the brain. If your head is messy, full of doubts, worries and performance anxiety, you will let yourself down, as well as your penis and the woman in your bed.

BUT the good news is that you’re here. We’re going to slide into your head, get your confidence up, share some realistic tips (edging!) and you’re going to nail this thing – for exactly how long you want to.

Physical reasons you’re not lasting longer in bed

Pre-existing conditions

  • Physical conditions like diabetes and other illnesses could impact your ability to last.
  • While high blood pressure is likely to affect erectile dysfunction, because of less blood flow to the penis, high blood pressure could affect time to ejaculation. 
  • If you have nerve illnesses that run in your family, this could result in erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. 
  • Genetic illnesses you might not be aware of could be affecting you. This should be checked out, regardless of how long you last in bed. 

Your Diet 

  • Being hydrated affects all areas of your sex life – how long you last, what you taste like and your energy. 
  • You will find lots of articles talking about nitrate-rich foods and foods that will boost your testosterone. Testosterone often does not affect your erection intensity or duration. 
  • Eating well and deliberately has effects on overall sexual performance. How you taste, how long you last in bed, what you smell like… it all adds up. 
  • Eat foods high in protein, Vitamin B and omega-3 fatty acids. These don’t give you harder erections for longer but they increase blood flow and energy retention. They also help with recovery. Articles claiming ‘These 6 foods will make you last longer’ aren’t wrong but it’s not that simple. 
  • Overall health and good eating have a good effect on your body and in turn, your sexual health. 

Your Level of Fitness

  • Men who go to gym are typically better in bed. 
  • The more stamina and self-discipline you have beyond the bedroom, the more you have in the bedroom.
  • The better your circulation, the healthier your erection. Cardio, cardio, cardio! 
  • If you’re fitter, you’re more confident in bed. This affects your state of mind more than you realize.

Societal reasons you’re not lasting longer in bed

Another recurring issue is porn. Remember that porn is entertainment and not education. It is not realistic. It takes many cuts to create a scene where it seems like the star is lasting for an hour.

How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

It also takes pills, penis pumps, and years of experience. It is not the norm and the more you realize that the less pressure you will put on yourself. 

Porn also offers a standard for sex. It’s created templates and people think sex only exists in those frameworks. 

But people are different. You’ll find women who enjoy hours of penetration while some women prefer 16-seconds of back-bending-toe-curling-OHMYGOD-thrusting mixed up with foreplay.

This is a Bedroom Performance Chart
(saucydates.com)

As you can see, it all depends – but my point remains, you can get control over your erection and its ejaculation no matter how long she needs.

Chemical reasons you’re not lasting longer in bed

  • Dopamine helps with your erection and serotonin could be the key to staying hard. Serotonin is what delays ejaculation. 
  • There are pills for erectile dysfunction, and pills to get you to stay hard for 4 hours long. But nobody wants that. Not your partner and not you. 

P.S. There is no single pill that will cure premature ejaculation. Pills might affect your nerves or blood pressure and incidentally, you last longer in bed – but the chances are that you’re sacrificing your own pleasure and risking serious side effects.

It’s nature

  • We’re just primed to come, and sometimes don’t even need physical stimulation to ejaculate. Hello, dry humping and wet dreams. (see, that’s the brain!)

Remember that anything you ingest to last longer in bed is likely to have side effects. Whether it’s general practitioners, sex therapists or pills, we’re not keeping it off the table for good but before even considering that, focus on what’s in your power. 

The more in control of this YOU are, the better.

What is...Lasting Longer in Bed? 🧨

You can last longer in bed by following the steps given

This is up to you to determine. Read the room (and the bed in it). 

If it’s the first time with a new partner, you’re probably going to be excited as hell. The dopamine rush will get you hard but it’s what will make you come just as quickly. 

This is why training is important – for the moments you don’t plan for with a current partner and first-time encounters with a new partner.

Training? Yes. Edging, squeezing, mindfulness, control – there’s so much you can do to have control over premature ejaculation so that you last longer in bed. 

However long that is, it takes stamina and control.

The longer you last in bed, the more she comes

The average man lasts 3-7 minutes – that works for some women but not most. 

The longer you last in bed, the more she comes, the less she can forget you and you become the man she compares every other man to. You become the best fuck she’s ever had.

How to Last Longer in Bed, for you and your partner

We’ve discussed all sorts of reasons you could be missing your target. Now that we’re all on the same page, we’re ready to give you some real tips on how to last longer than average. 

Firstly:

  • Don’t numb your penis.
  • Don’t think of dead puppies.. I’m not saying it doesn’t work but let’s try methods that PETA would approve of for now 😉
  • Don’t jump straight to doctors and drugs. 
  • Don’t be hard on yourself. (this is the first and last time we ask you not to be hard)
  • Don’t summon thoughts of your grandma.
Don’t summon thoughts of your grandma.

The good news is that you’re here. It means you’re interested in lasting longer and pleasing her more. You’re already better than 90% of the men out there. 

You probably just need some training…

…and to get out of your head!

You probably just need some training and to get out of your head!

How to gain control over your ejaculation

One of the best, most fun, epic ways to control exactly how long you stay hard for is through training. And we have a guide with different ways you can train to avoid premature ejaculation!

  1. Edging
  2. Sperm retention / Kegels
  3. Squeezing
  4. Positions
  5. Mindfulness

Edging

What is edging? 

It’s an orgasm control technique. It can be done on your own, with a partner, or at the hands of a partner. It’s called edging because it feels like you’re about to go over the edge of a cliff, but you stop yourself just before the fall. And eventually, when you do fall… you know the feeling.  

It’s what happens when you’re getting stimulated through touch/penetration and just before you orgasm, you stop stimulating. 

You wait a while. Then build up pleasure again and when you’re on the brink of ejaculation and almost at the point of no return… you stop stimulation. This start/stop/start/stop strengthens your pelvic floor and gives you control.

How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

The benefits of edging:

Edging is not new but it is being spoken about more lately. It’s an excellent technique for a few reasons. Edging builds up your orgasm. It makes it more intense, powerful, and satisfying. When you eventually do ejaculate, it feels like damn magic. 

It lets you control your timing, improves your stamina, helps you get to know yourself, lets you rock your partner’s world for longer, strengthens your pelvic floor and helps you delay your ejaculation for exactly how long you need to. It also helps build up excitement for you and your partner.

How to edge / edging techniques:

  1. Practice on your own. 
    a. The space must be good. Quiet and comfortable so you can get in the mood.
    b. Start masturbating.
    c. As you get close to coming, become aware of all the sensations. The light around you, how you feel, how close you are to orgasm. Just as you’re almost at the point of no return…
    d. ..stop.
Stop or slow down

2. Stop or slow down. Stand up. Readjust yourself and let the excitement die down a little. 

3. Aaand start stimulating yourself again. 

4. Then come. 

5. Try edging by stopping just once. Then if you’re ready, try it twice. 

6. When you get more experience, try it 3 or 4 times before letting yourself ejaculate!

Try edging by stopping just once. Then if you’re ready, try it twice.

Once you’ve mastered it yourself, it’s easier to control your timing with a new partner in your bed. 

If you’re with someone you know comfortably, she can help you edge. With her mouth, hands, or pussy – and stopping when you’re close. This takes communication and discipline.

Edging does not cause erectile dysfunction or retrograde ejaculation and isn’t proven to weaken your orgasm. 

P.S. You can edge her too – the benefits and techniques are similar: just before she’s about to come, stop touching her. And wait. 

She will probably beg you to carry on but be disciplined here. When you’re ready, start stimulating her again. 

Bring her to the brink of orgasm. I guarantee this will drive her wild and when she does orgasm? She’ll thank you. It will be an orgasm to remember.  

You can also work it into your dirty talk.  It will build the anticipation. 

If you master your edging AND hers, you will make any girl come better, harder and in future…faster. And like we’ve said, after she comes once, she’s usually ready for more.

Sperm Retention / Kegels

Sperm retention is different from edging. Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same things, they often just happen at the same time. Cue Kegels. The tried and tested ‘stop start’ method to delay ejaculation. 

Kegels help with: 

  • Stamina 
  • Self control 
  • Potential for multiple orgasms (yes!)
  • Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles

Male Kegels are literally about working out where it matters most. 💪 

They’ve been targeted at women for years but are just as powerful for men. 

Once you learn to do these and practice them, you can prevent your ejaculation when you feel it coming. 

How can you take advantage of Kegels?

When you’re peeing – practice stopping and starting the flow of urine. Those muscles you’re feeling? These are the muscles to train to help you gain control and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. 

  1. Practice the Kegel exercises while peeing, then practice them on their own. 
  2. In a week or two, practice them when you’re about to come. The same muscles and sensations you’ve gotten used to? Remember them and use them.
Kegels is the ‘stop start’ method to delay ejaculation

You could end up having what’s called a ‘dry orgasm’. Some men love them, some hate them. This is where you get the full sensation, there’s just no ejaculation.

Some men say it’s more intense and others say less so. 

It’s not the same as a ruined orgasm where stimulation stops just before you’re about to orgasm and you don’t get the satisfaction of a complete orgasm. 

With Kegels, you can orgasm more than once and when you’re ready, allow yourself to actually ejaculate.  I’ve created excellent training schedules practically guaranteed to increase pleasure, erection length and strength and delay ejaculation. 

Have a look into the beginner schedule for now:

Have a look into the beginner schedule

The Squeeze Technique

What is squeezing and how to do it…

The squeezing technique is the older, out-of-date brother within the world of edging. It’s more of a hands-on approach. 😉 

Squeezing is a purely physical technique. 

1. Similar to edging, you begin by stimulating yourself. 
2. As you become hard, feel for the raised area on the underside of your shaft, just before your head – the frenulum.

How to Last Longer in Bed (with tips)

3. Just before you’re about to come, apply light pressure here to physically stop the ejaculation from happening. (hold under your head with your index finger and the top with your thumb)

Last longer during sex by using The Squeeze technique

4. You can also try squeezing the base of your penis.
5.
Practice it a few times on your own to get the hang of it. 
6. Don’t squeeze too hard. Seriously. Feel it out. Experiment. Figure out what pressure works right for you.

Don’t squeeze too hard

Squeezing has a similar effect to edging – edging just doesn’t need your hands. 

Squeezing could also potentially ‘ruin’ the moment if it’s with a new partner that you don’t know how to communicate with yet. 

Until you feel comfortable doing that, you can try switching up positions and while you’re switching, squeeze.

Sex Positions

Do you get carried away, lose yourself, and all of a sudden… boom? You’ve thrusted too hard, too deep and you just lose control? 

Some sex positions give her control, limit the depth of thrusts, and don’t allow for a lot of movement. You may be able to delay ejaculation by just having these key positions in your mind. 

Check them out: 

  • Spooning 
    • The angle is perfect for her g-spot and you’re limited in your strokes. They can’t be too deep and the movement is limited too. 
  • Flat doggy style 
    • When she’s lying on the bed with her stomach and you’re flat on top of her, inside her and almost grinding more than thrusting. It limits the thrusts – their depth and intensity.
  • Switching any positions. 
    • It excites her and gives you the chance to take a break if you’re close.
switching any positions excites her and gives you the chance to take a break if you’re close

More than positions, the actual way you thrust changes how long you last in bed, and how quickly she comes. 

On that note, there are some sex positions you should probably avoid until you’ve got control over this. 

  • Her on top 
    • She has too much control. She could be riding you and when she gets close to coming, I promise you, she’s not going to want to stop or take it slow.
    • (Note: this all falls flat if she’s the type of girl to grind when she’s on top. It could provide direct G-Spot and clitoral stimulation for her while most guys don’t get much stimulation. If this is the case, it’s a great way to keep her happy while buying yourself some time)
  • Reverse cowgirl
    • She’s got even more control here because the position is more comfortable. She’s likely to go faster and harder. You may be able to try to control her by guiding her hips but don’t bet on it. 

And any sex position where she’s on top and in control could work against you when trying to last longer.

When you’ve trained and you have your ejaculation under YOUR control, explore positions you’ve never thought of, that will give her orgasms every time – g-spot and clitoral! 

Mindfulness

This is practicing how to get out of your head and back to the bed. 

It’s about remembering that sex should be fun and feel good. It’s how to get to playful, low-pressure, aware sex. Or intense, deep, extra-orgasmic sex.

Often our minds wander to our favorite porn reels, work stresses, overthinking how we’re performing, wondering if we look good and and and… 🤔🤔🤔 We give ourselves performance anxiety.

Mindfulness is practicing how to get out of your head and back to the bed

While you want to get lost in the moment, you don’t want your mind to wander aimlessly. When your mind wanders, you dissociate from the moment, you don’t experience the pleasure, you don’t focus on your partner and no one leaves happy. 

This brings us to one of the biggest trends: Meditation.

This helps you focus on and enjoy what’s happening at the moment. It gets your body and mind on the same page. 

How?

  • Become aware of what you’re feeling when you’re about to come. If you focus, you can identify the trigger and begin to control it. 
  • Use deep breaths to set a pace and to focus on when you’re in your thoughts too much. It also helps you set a rhythm that you can manage. 
  • Learn simple meditation techniques and apply those thoughts to your time in bed – learn to control your thoughts seamlessly, maintain a good pace and get lost in the moment rather than avoid it.
  • There are great apps and ways to begin looking into this. Headspace has taken the world by storm and even has its own NetFlix show. Calm is highly rated for sleep, focus and reducing anxiety.

 The thing is that porn is often focused on genitals but there’s more to sex than that. There are so many spots and sensations that excite a girl and you beyond your penis and her pussy. Remember the glorious, previously unknown A-spot?

Remember the glorious, previously unknown A-spot?

When we pay attention to sensations, feelings, and ourselves in a good way, everything falls into place and the performance anxiety eases. 

But what if…? 

What if this takes a few weeks for you to get on top of?

What if this takes a few weeks for you to get on top of?

We’ve got you.

Firstly: 

  • Don’t ‘This has never happened to me, I swear.’ It’s old. It’s weak. Are you weak? No
  • Get ahead of the problem. It takes time to turn women on and it takes time to give them orgasms.  If you can’t last you can’t do that for her during sex. But whoever said that the only option was to give her this during sex? If you are a master of foreplay you can have her speaking in tongues, convulsing from multiple orgasms before she ever even sees your penis.
  • Don’t hold onto it. Let it go and onto the next one. 
  • If you do come early, don’t beat yourself up, don’t stammer. Still control the room. The less of a deal you act like it is, the less of a deal it is.

While you’re training and figuring out which method works best for you, you might still have issues with this. But let’s fix that for now. 

  • Communicate. Learn how to do this in every area of sex. And make that part of your sex. 

“You excite me so fucking much. I honestly couldn’t stop.”

Talk about the quality of your orgasm so that she feels good. 

“Fuck me. I haven’t come like this in years. What did you do to me?”

Remember that:

  • Censored secrets will give you never-before-seen tips on what will drive her wild, because foreplay is ALWAYS in your corner. Brush up on your techniques and keep her happy even before you begin fucking, and afterward. If you blow your load, make sure she knows that her pleasure is still the most important thing to you AND THAT’S WHAT SHE WILL REMEMBER. 
  • If you come early, it doesn’t mean the sex is over. You still have toys, a tongue, fingers, and her whole body to explore. Make sure you satisfied her up front, take a little break, recuperate and go again.

In the end…

See? We’re ending exactly when I thought we would. 

How to last longer in bed is about control and making sure you both end up happy and satisfied. It doesn’t matter how long you want to last in bed, you need to be able to maintain your stamina and you can only do that by training yourself. 

It’s not about lasting longer in bed. It’s about lasting exactly how long you want to.

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